Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers who make greater contribution to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #workers #doctors #nurses #teachers #contribution #society #field #sports #entertainment

The high

Suggestion

Higher

incomes of celebs in the field of sports and

entertainment

have always been a matter of dispute. I disagree that doctors, nurses and teachers should be paid more than these celebrities. I shall put forth my arguments to support my views in the following paragraphs. No doubt that doctors, nurses and teachers are making a great contribution to

society but

Accept comma addition

society, but

the contribution of these celebrities is

also

no less. They provide us

entertainment

and inspiration and they

also

bring name and fame to our country. They are role models for the society and people follow them and listen to them. My

second

argument is that they have a very short career span. Most of the people in the sports and

entertainment

field start their career at the age of 19-20 and retire

Suggestion

33-35 years. A doctor, teacher or nurse does not ever retire if he does not wish to.

For example

, my uncle is a doctor and even at the age of 94 he goes to his clinic for two hours every day. Whatever these celebs earn is during these few years and after that they face

struggle

Suggestion

a struggle

struggles

. Of course, there are

exceptions

Accept comma addition

exceptions, such

such

as the great legend Amitabh Bachhan but

such

examples can be counted on finger tips. My final argument is that these celebs sacrifice their personal life completely and so they do deserve these high salaries. They cannot enjoy the common things of life like the common man does. They are always followed by the paparazzi and their children

too

in the direction of

always need security.

This

is too much price to pay for the high salaries they receive. To put it in a nutshell, I pen

down saying

Accept comma addition

down, saying

that people in the field of sports and

entertainment

well deserve their high incomes. Their services to the society are as important as, if not more, the services of doctors, teachers and nurses.

Submitted by dinesh_acharya025 on Thu Apr 18 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

315 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers who make greater contribution to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

The government should lower the budget on the arts in order to allocate more money to education. To what extend do you agree?

In schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts, while boys like science. what are the reasons for this trend and do you think this tendency should be changed?

In many countries nowadays, people still live with their parents after marriage and also after having children. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages?

Some people think that human needs for farmland housing and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals .Do you agree or disagree ?