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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers who make greater contribution to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #workers #doctors #nurses #teachers #contribution #society #field #sports #entertainment
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The high
Suggestion
Higher
 incomes of celebs in the field of sports and
entertainment
Use synonyms
 have always been a matter of dispute. I disagree that doctors, nurses and teachers should be paid more than these celebrities. I shall put forth my arguments to support my views in the following paragraphs. No doubt that doctors, nurses and teachers are making a great contribution to
society but
Accept comma addition
society, but
 the contribution of these celebrities is
also
Linking Words
 no less. They provide us
entertainment
Use synonyms
 and inspiration and they
also
Linking Words
 bring name and fame to our country. They are role models for the society and people follow them and listen to them. My
second
Linking Words
 argument is that they have a very short career span. Most of the people in the sports and
entertainment
Use synonyms
 field start their career at the age of 19-20 and retire
by
Suggestion
in
 33-35 years. A doctor, teacher or nurse does not ever retire if he does not wish to.
For example
Linking Words
, my uncle is a doctor and even at the age of 94 he goes to his clinic for two hours every day. Whatever these celebs earn is during these few years and after that they face
struggle
Suggestion
a struggle
struggles
. Of course, there are
exceptions
Accept comma addition
exceptions, such
such
Linking Words
 as the great legend Amitabh Bachhan but
such
Linking Words
 examples can be counted on finger tips. My final argument is that these celebs sacrifice their personal life completely and so they do deserve these high salaries. They cannot enjoy the common things of life like the common man does. They are always followed by the paparazzi and their children
too
in the direction of
to
 always need security.
This
Linking Words
 is too much price to pay for the high salaries they receive. To put it in a nutshell, I pen
down saying
Accept comma addition
down, saying
 that people in the field of sports and
entertainment
Use synonyms
 well deserve their high incomes. Their services to the society are as important as, if not more, the services of doctors, teachers and nurses.
Submitted by dinesh_acharya025 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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