Using computers everyday can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree.

#computers #effects #children

Children start spending a lot of their time behind the

computer

screen from a very early age.

Although

using computers

enhance

Suggestion

to enhance

academic growth and critical thinking

;

Accept space

;

however I

Accept comma addition

however, I

am of the opinion that young children operating

computer

on a daily basis does more harm than good. There is no denying the fact that we live in a world dominated by technology. Some children have big imaginations.

For instance

, in

past there

Suggestion

the past, there

the past there

were only crayons and water

colors

a flag that shows its nationality

colours

coolers

to dispose their imagination on

paper but

Accept comma addition

paper, but

now

in addition

to drawing they can create three dimensional animation on

computer

Suggestion

the computer

and allow it to take physical form.

Also

, earlier to gain information and knowledge children had to depend on books and

libraries but

Accept comma addition

libraries, but

now they are exposed to a vast amount of information through computers which significantly enhances their academic knowledge.

However

, there are some drawbacks of operating computers on a regular basis.

Firstly children

Accept comma addition

Firstly, children

who spend more time on

computer

Suggestion

the computer

computers

a computer

than with others their age fail to develop social skills. Social skills are important not only for communication but

also

to develop self esteem.

This

in turn leads to depression and loneliness.

Secondly

, spending more time on

computer

Suggestion

the computer

makes children lethargic. They tend to sit with

computer

games whole day and lack of physical activities makes them obese.

This

obesity can contribute several other health problems as they grow older.

Thirdly

, children who indulge more with computers are exposed to a variety of things available online. They cannot use their conscience to know what is right and wrong. In conclusion, computers help children with their academics and

entertainment but

Accept comma addition

entertainment, but

parents must monitor the number of hours their children spend behind

computer screen

Suggestion

a computer screen

the computer screen

computer screens

and

contents

Suggestion

the contents

they browse.

Submitted by drhridi on Thu Apr 18 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Using computers everyday can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree.

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

in many countires nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over tha world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and Clean energy. The benefits of nuclear energy far outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people prefer to travel around town by car, while others prefer public transit such as bus, train, or subway. Discuss both these positions and give your own opinion.