New technology have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #children #time

In today’s era, adolescent are spending their leisure time around the

technology

, owing to

this

they are becoming more tech savvy;

however

can not

cannot

deny the fact that it is against their healthier

life

. I would elucidate the pros and cons of new

technology

in the following paragraph. If youngsters would spend their the maximum time with captivating

technology

; they would never learn the importance of growing in society, because

juvenile

Suggestion

the juvenile

a juvenile

is the best stage to learn and gain the wisdom about

life

Moreover

instead

engagement

Suggestion

engaging

with family members, children devote too much of their time with television, mobile and play stations.

Furthermore

, youngsters who are not involved in physical activities will lead to

Suggestion

unhealthy

life

; they will become more sensitive towards the natural environment.

For instance

government

Suggestion

the government

has shown some statistics

last

year in a survey that thirty two percent of youngsters have sensitive skin and nose, which

can not

cannot

tolerate dust particles.

Although

technology

Suggestion

the technology

has some bad impacts, despite that it has part of benefits, as young adults are learning new techniques related to their studies and general knowledge facts by surfing on

internet

Suggestion

the internet

;

this

will help them in competitive exams,

for example

, entrance exam of a college, quiz competition or a job related examination. In conclusion, despite modern

technology

has some advantages, I believe there are more disadvantages. In future teenagers will lack in social

life

as a

result they

Accept comma addition

result, they

would have lesser confidence level in all the stages of

life

; they are stepping towards

Suggestion

unhealthy

life

Submitted by naresh on Sun Apr 21 2019

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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New technology have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Employers should give their staff at least four-weeks’ holiday a year to help employees get better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many businesses think that the new employees who have just graduated from schools lack interpersonal skills, such as working with colleagues as a team. What has caused this and what are the solutions to this problem?

Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should be closed. What problems do zoos bring? What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed?

Some Cities have vehicle free days when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned from the city center. Public transportation likes buses, taxis, and metros are advised. To what extent do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?