IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Every one of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#meat #health
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It is often argued that each individual should adopt
vegetarian way
Suggestion
a vegetarian way
the vegetarian way
 of diet because
meat
Use synonyms
 consumption is associated with many
health
Use synonyms
 issues. I somehow agree with the given point of view as it has its merits as well as demerits.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explicate the opinion as mentioned earlier.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, adoption of
vegetarian dietary regime
Suggestion
a vegetarian dietary regime
 can help in avoiding dangerous afflictions of consuming red and white
meat
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, the undesirable entities that come along with eating
meat
Use synonyms
 in any form are prevented from entering one’s body thereby ensuring good
health
Use synonyms
. As evidenced in a recent article published in The New York Times, it has been revealed that consuming red
meat
Use synonyms
 in the long term is highly unfavourable for normal human digestive system and makes
body
Suggestion
the body
 prone to different forms of cancers.
Therefore
Linking Words
, vegetarianism does appear a more favourable way of living.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, one’s dietary habits are one’s individual choice and one cannot be dictated the
food
Use synonyms
 that needs to be eaten. Put differently, in a civil society, people enjoy
absolute independence
Suggestion
the absolute independence
 as far as the choice of the
food
Use synonyms
 is concerned. Take the case of an open society
such
Linking Words
 as the USA; it is constituted of people of multiple nationalities with varied
food
Use synonyms
 preferences and they are allowed to practice their choice and faith.
This
Linking Words
 is guaranteed to them by
law
Suggestion
the law
 of the country.
Hence
Linking Words
, it should be left to an individual, the type of
food
Use synonyms
 he or she prefers. In essence, it is not practical for everyone to turn vegetarian just based on the belief that non-vegetarian eatables have
certain risk
Suggestion
a certain risk
 of
health
Use synonyms
 related to them. It is hoped people make wise decisions and adopt healthy eating habits that can suffice their overall
health
Use synonyms
 and development.
Submitted by yogikagarg on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • chronic diseases
  • balanced diet
  • nutritional deficiencies
  • plant-based diet
  • ethical concerns
  • environmental impact
  • deforestation
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • sustainable
  • Vitamin B12
  • processed meat substitutes
  • social and cultural implications
  • mitigate
  • full-time vegetarian
  • plant-based options
  • health benefits
  • commit to vegetarianism
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