More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that increasing the price of fattening foods will solve this problem. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In our contemporary world,
hefty proportion
Suggestion
a hefty proportion
of people have been confronted with obesity.
This
health
issues
Suggestion
issue
may be addressed through
accreument
the statement (oral or written) of an exchange of promises
agreement
of junk food
prices according
Accept comma addition
prices, according
to plethora of people's notion. I strongly disagree with
this
remedy because of numerous cogent reasons on below. Perhaps it should be acknowledged that, drawing attention of consumers for fast foods, which are roots of
overweightness
usually describes a large person who is fat but has a large frame to carry it
overweights
, may fail due to the high prices. Needless to say, if
this
initiative had been launched,
vast majority
Suggestion
the vast majority
of
cutomers
someone who pays for goods or services
customers
would have forsaken
this
sort of foods.
This
initiative,
however
, would call for astronomic prices to be valid and impactful due to addictive attribute of junk foods.
Consequently
, myriad of inhabitants, who cannot afford no more, may cease consuming junk foods and
instead
commence to seek alternative more healthy options. On the minus side,
rest
Suggestion
the rest
of people, for whom these foods are available due to their abundance, still suffer.
Hence
,
this
approach cannot be panacea at all. In terms of possible alternatives, the acquaintance of necessary knowledge about
this
difficulties
Suggestion
difficulty
and how to cope with them, may be
large step
Suggestion
a large step
toward sole solution. To illustrate that, making people aware with
this
heartbreaking advancement's adverse
effects
Suggestion
effect
on human body via massive media or
increasement number
Suggestion
an increasement number
of sport
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
centres
and draw citizens' attention to
this
places
Suggestion
place
would be
perfect example
Suggestion
a perfect example
the perfect example
perfect examples
of that sort of
initiavtives
readiness to embark on bold new ventures
initiative
.
Therefore
, people start to tackle with obesity on their own, which is supreme advantage. The conclusion to be drawn is that, making efforts to eradicate
this
by only one side cannot be
adequate
Suggestion
adequately
and
instead
of that, patients should take responsibility on their own and take care
for
Suggestion
of
themselves.
Submitted by Serhii Baraniuk on

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next: