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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be the consequences of this? What solutions can you offer?

#people #background #cities #work #consequences #offer
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An increasing number of traditional farmers are relocating away from the countryside to the city, seeking more modern forms of employment.
Consequently
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, many issues arise,
such
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 as, a decrease in farming and a competitive
job
Use synonyms
 market in the capitals.
Furthermore
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, these problems are not without solutions.
This
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 essay will discuss both these aspects.
Firstly
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, as farmers move to the metropolis, there is a depletion in the efficiency of the agricultural sector. If the numbers of workers were to decrease, so will
their
people in general
they
 produce.
This
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 will result in a deficit in production, in turn resulting in less food for the country. To illustrate, in 2007, 30% of tomato crop owners in Italy, moved to Milan in search of better
job
Use synonyms
opporutnities
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunities
, that year alone the production of tomatoes
plummited
drop sharply
plummeted
 by 60%.
Secondly
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, with a concentrated influx of people seeking work
into
Suggestion
in
 the city, the
job
Use synonyms
 market will become congested and
competetive
involving competition or competitiveness
competitive
.
This
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 is because, many people from the same background will be applying for the same post.
In addition
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 to
this
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, the rate of unemployment in the city will shoot up.
For instance
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, those with an agricultural background tend to skip high school, which makes them unqualified for certain jobs. Adding to the burden of unemployment.
However
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, these obstacles can be tackled in many ways.
To begin
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 with, government schemes can be implemented to raise the salaries of those in the agriculture sector.
This
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 way, they will be encouraged to remain in the country and attend to their land. In turn, sales, as well as, produce will remain unaltered. With regards to the competitive
job
Use synonyms
 market,
job
Use synonyms
 openings for all those who once worked in plant fields should create a course for work experience. Teaching these farmers the basic tools and lessons they need to succeed in the working world. In conclusion,
although
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 the mass movement of agricultural workers from the country
to
Suggestion
in
 towns creates many dilemmas, they are not without solutions.
Submitted by leena_lik.ey on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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