IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think it is better to give donations to local charitable organizations, while others choose to give to national or international bodies. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Addressing the social cause through the charitable activities and donations to the institutions is a known process where individuals based on their interest or inclination, give away in
form
Suggestion
the form
a form
 of the cash or kind. Instantly, debatable aspect is giving
Use synonyms
donation
Suggestion
a donation
 to local or national/international bodies. In
this
Linking Words
eassy
an analytic or interpretive literary composition
essay
easy
issue
, I will discuss about both
way
Suggestion
ways
 of
donation
Use synonyms
 and give my opinion on why I believe in giving
Use synonyms
donation
Suggestion
a donation
 to local charities.
For instance
Linking Words
, local
organizations having
Accept comma addition
organizations, having
 a limited
resources
Suggestion
resource
 and understand local problems comprehensively. The donations to
this
Linking Words
groups
Suggestion
group
 will lead to instant result and we can directly see the impact in short duration of time.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
institution not
Accept comma addition
institution, not
 having a well defined system or process and mostly driven by person centric and some time led to
surreal result
Suggestion
the surreal result
 of donations.
For Example
Linking Words
, A leading non-profit in India - PRADAN, works extensively
on
Suggestion
in
with
 the tribal community in
rural part
Suggestion
rural parts
a rural part
 of the country.
However
Linking Words
, there are increasingly global charities working on issues or theme led social problem.
For instance
Linking Words
, organisations like PETA
work
Use synonyms
 on the animal abuse at global level.
This
Linking Words
institutions
Suggestion
institution
having
Suggestion
has
 a better system and processes to deliver the
work
Use synonyms
, but major portions of
donation
Use synonyms
 will go towards internal process/overhead.
Also
Linking Words
, there would be clear co-relation between the donations and its impact
at
Suggestion
on
of
ground
Suggestion
the ground
 as it will take years to see major changes led by international organizations. Like, Gates Foundation - A global
persoal
concerning or affecting a particular person or his or her private life and personality
personal
 charity,
work
Use synonyms
 on maternal health in the developing world and real impact required years of dedicated
work
Use synonyms
. In a nutshell, both
category
Suggestion
categories
 of charity organizations come with pros and cons. In my opinion, I will firmly believe in donating to local bodies as I clearly see and track the utility of money and not allow squandering the money.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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