Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #entertainers #e #g #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #jobs

Entertainment has become an important part of our daily

lives

Suggestion

life

However

, many thinkers believe that people in

entertainment industry

Suggestion

the entertainment industry

are given a hefty sum of money, to which I have dissenting views. On one hand, it is quite justified to pay a reasonable amount of money

Suggestion

for

the sports personals or to film stars for their showcase of talent to entertain the common people. Albeit, they do not posses any mental

ability but

Accept comma addition

ability, but

they practice day and night to polish these skills in order to amuse people or even to represent the nation at world level,

thus

, making an immense contribution to the society. To illustrate, the cricket team of a country, practice for an extended

time so

Accept comma addition

time, so

as to make one’s country proud by winning a world cup.

Therefore

, it is important to pay a quality amount of money to these celebrities.

On the other hand

, some other professionals

such

as biologists must me highly paid as due to their hard work, the cure to various deadly diseases can be found.

Moreover

, it is common that some life risking jobs

such

as job of

fire fighters

a member of a fire department who tries to extinguish fires

firefighters

are still underrated and in my opinion need to be sufficiently paid as they save lives of the people.

In addition

this

, others related to

noble line

Suggestion

the noble line

a noble line

of work like teachers and doctors should be paid in abundance as they contribute crucially to the development and well being of the nation. To conclude, there must be a dignity of labour and the occupations must not be ranked as high or low as every professional impart their skill and knowledge for the holistic development of a realm.

Submitted by amanjw01 on Sun Apr 28 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is sometimes argued that too many students go to university, while others claim that a university education should be a universal right.

some people believe that taxing is best way to reduce the industrial pollution.While some suggest there are several other ways to solve this trouble. Discuss both the views and give you opinion.

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?