Watching television is bad for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#television #children

Watching

television

is considered by many people that are harmful to children.

However

, in my opinion, I somehow agree with

this

perspective as it

contain

Suggestion

contains

both merits and drawbacks.

First

and foremost,

one

of the principal

disadvantage

Suggestion

disadvantages

of watching

television

having the

Accept comma addition

having, the

chances to develop

healthy

Suggestion

health

problems

such

vision problem

Suggestion

vision problems

the vision problem

. When children spend most of their

times

Suggestion

time

on watching their

favorite

something regarded with special favor or liking

favourite

programs namely

Accept comma addition

programs, namely

cartoon, the light which released from

television

will definitely cause their

eyes

Suggestion

eye

damage.

Furthermore

, lack of concentration while studying is

also

one

of the drawbacks

cause

Suggestion

causes

by watching

television

. To illustrate, children who addicted to watching

television

will put all their focus on

and

consequently

Suggestion

consequent

consequential

loss the interest

Suggestion

studying.

Nevertheless

, it is commonly believed that watching

television

also contain

Suggestion

also contains

benefits to children. Indeed, children will

also

feel stress when live in a circumstance where having

plethora

Suggestion

a plethora

of homework. When watching

television

, it is able to help them release the stress and make them feel enjoy and relax.

In addition

, allow them to spend their free time on watching

can prevent them to commit crimes.

For instance

one

of the reasons of youth crimes

is due to children feel

Suggestion

has due to children felt

feels due to children

is due to children to feel

is due to children feel

bored on their free time. Provide them some after-school activities

such

as watching

one

of the effective

method

Suggestion

methods

to avoid

this

problem. In the conclusion, undoubtedly, children who spend their time wisely while watching

will contain advantages. Despite, we cannot ignore the drawbacks from watching

Submitted by looi.kai.s2003 on Mon Apr 29 2019

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

246 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Watching television is bad for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

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