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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some countries encourage teenagers to have part time job and see it as a good thing while others disagree. Give your opinion and discuss both the views.

#countries #teenagers #part #time #job
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Nowadays, the rate at which adolescents across the world seek part time employment has been observed to be on the increase. While some countries consider
this
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 development as a right step in the right direction,
others
Accept comma addition
others, however
however
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, believe it should be discouraged. My opinion, as will be buttressed in the sequel, agrees
this
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 is a positive trend that should be embraced by all. Asides the prospect of an enhanced livelihood which indirectly reduces social vices in the society, getting engaged with part-time job at a tender age can be seen as an avenue to add values, exposure and experience which would come handy later in one's life.
For example
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, the invaluable knowledge and skills I gained while working in an integrated farm during my undergraduate studies at the University come have become highly relevant in performing my current job roles more effectively as an Agribusiness Consultant. On the flip side, the argument could be made that young ones who have secured part-time jobs at their formative age tend to lose focus and end up performing woefully in their academic pursuit. Increased number of school dropouts across the globe
has
Suggestion
have also been attributed
also
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 been attributed to
this
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 phenomenon. A recent report on the BBC news channel
further
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laid
put into a certain place or abstract location
lay
 credence to the fact that more than 50% of young students who combine academics with work bow out of school untimely. In conclusion, with governments and parents taking conscious efforts to minimise the dropout rate of employed younger ones through awareness and campaign,
this
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 development should be encouraged especially in the developing nations as the advantages clearly outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by ojediransamuel on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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