Some people think that school children need to learn practical skills such as car maintenance or bank account management along with the academic subjects at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is widely acknowledged that the primary objective of
school
education is to impart theoretical knowledge and not acquisition of life
skills
.
However
, it does not necessitate schools offering
car
repair or bank account management lessons, in my opinion. There are several obvious advantages to maintaining the focus of
school
education
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the teaching of academic subjects, namely science, mathematics, history and languages. It is a well-known fact that we now live in a
knowledge based
Add a hyphen
knowledge-based
show examples
economy in which independent thinking and
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
skills
are more crucial to success
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the workplace.
Further
, we should not overlook the fact that many ineluctable subjects are currently finding their way into the curriculum
such
as business management and computers. Their inclusion has rendered timetables full, leaving schools little time to teach any life
skills
.
Moreover
,
skills
such
as operating a bank account or fixing a
car
are not too complex or profound to be taught in an academic setting. People hardly complain about not
having
Verb problem
being
show examples
taught how to avail of banking services when they were in
school
. Financial prudence is usually gained in later stages of life by making pecuniary transactions on a daily basis.
Finally
,
car
maintenance is an inconsequential skill as most people prefer taking their cars to a qualified mechanic to fixing them on their own.
To conclude
,
school
hours are too limited to fit in practical
skills
such
as accounting or
car
fixing. Any effort to incorporate them
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
the curriculum would only upset the study of more important academic subjects.
Submitted by ojediransamuel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your arguments are well-developed and relevant to the topic. Ensure that your examples and evidence directly support your points, and make sure to address all parts of the question in your response.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, and your ideas are logically organized. Work on using more cohesive devices to connect your ideas throughout the essay for improved coherence.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is varied and appropriate for the task. Consider using more advanced vocabulary and idiomatic expressions to enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, but there are instances of awkward phrasing and word choice. Pay attention to sentence structure and word usage to improve your grammatical range.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: