These days fathers stay at home to take care of children while mothers go out to work. What could be the cause of this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

#fathers #home #care #children #mothers #work #development

Increasing number

Suggestion

An increasing number

Increasing numbers

The increasing number

of fathers nowadays stay at home to cater for their children as mothers become breadwinners. While

this

is caused by the ever increasing emphasis on gender equity, girl child education and woman empowerment, it is an unwelcome development. Over the years, so much emphasis

have been

Suggestion

has been

on women empowerment and gender equity and

this

seemed to have relegated men and fathers to the background in the socioeconomic sphere. Women now becoming more ambitious.

In addition

rising cost

Suggestion

the rising cost

of living among families

have pushed

Suggestion

has pushed

mothers to

also

take up jobs. These jobs sometimes pay better than that of fathers, so fathers may give up their job to become househusbands for the sake of their children especially if it is expensive having a nanny. These are the 2 main reasons why fathers babysit and cater for children and mothers are out there providing for the family. Housekeeping and taking care of children by fathers is one of the cultures

downturned

a worsening of business or economic activity

downturns

downturn

downtime

by modernism and civilisation in the world today. The question

is are

Suggestion

has been

fathers naturally built to cater for babies and children? Even from childhood, instinctively, a girl child is homely and attend to house chores far much more than a boy and women are naturally endowed with all

that is

needed to nurture babies and cater for children. An example of

this

is the breast milk for a hungry baby, which we all know has no substitute, not even the best of infant formulae. Naturally the body chemistry and neural wiring for mothers are meant for

children's

Suggestion

child

care giving, whereas that of a father is hustling and providing for the family. Any change in

tide

Suggestion

the tide

against

nature

Accept comma addition

nature, such

such

this

, is always a negative one. It is indeed a social malady and its repercussions will soon befall the world in the future. In conclusion, children's care giving by fathers is a family ill because it is unnatural. Its causes are, increasing family economic demand and women empowerment and its negative effects will soon manifest in our societies if

this

trend is not reversed.

Submitted by drcndre on Tue Apr 30 2019

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

343 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

breadwinner
caregiving
paternal leave
societal perceptions
gender roles
flexible working conditions
personal preference
father-child relationship
emotional and social development
household responsibilities
career opportunities
professional achievements
balanced parenting
earning potential
social stigma
societal pressure
discrimination
traditional mindsets
resentment
adjustment

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These days fathers stay at home to take care of children while mothers go out to work. What could be the cause of this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

The practice of illegally hunting wild animals continues to cause concern in many countries, particularly developing countries. What are the causes of such hunting? What are the effects on the animals, and on the wider human society in these countries and beyond?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?