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Band 5

Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is the children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. Do you agree?"

#figures #show #crime #youngsters #age #psychologists #reason #children #parents #teachers
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Nowadays, the crimes are rising at
very alarming rate
Suggestion
a very alarming rate
,
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,
specially
to a distinctly greater extent or degree than is common
especially
between
Suggestion
among
 children
.
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.
 There is no enough social and sentimental education by their parents and teachers
,
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,
and is considered to be the primary cause
for
Suggestion
of
such
Linking Words
 crimes. I agree with
this
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 statement as lack of closeness in the family and the artificial intelligence at school.
Firstly
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,
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,
many children
below
Suggestion
under
 18 do not have the essential learning from their parents
,
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,
resulting in an increase in the rate of crimes among them.
This
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 is because both mothers and fathers need to work in order to earn money, which results in growing up the young in a
parentless
not having a point especially a sharp point
pointless
 environment with
lack
Suggestion
a lack
the lack
 of social
and passion meaning
Suggestion
meaning and passion
. They
,
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,
for example
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,
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,
are looking for these meanings by having bad friends to socialize, which will lead them altogether to harm the society and themselves by doing unmoral issues
such
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 as
rubbery
larceny by threat of violence
robbery
.
Secondly
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,
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,
the growing rate of crimes
also
Linking Words
 comes from the way of teaching pupils at school. In some cases
,
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,
technology is applied in most of the classes recently
,
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,
which lack the emotional connection needed to motivate children to learn, and,
as a result
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 the young will be
effected
acted upon; influenced
affected
 by
such
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 a situation and look forward to playing violent games
,
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,
which will impact their
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 and encourage them to commit crimes in the near future.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some educators have an extremely rigid teaching style
,
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,
which encourage learners to have unethical
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
. In conclusion, committing crimes amongst young learners can result from
lacking
Suggestion
lack
 of social and
passional
concerning or affecting a particular person or his or her private life and personality
personal
 learning by parents and instructors
.
Accept space
.
 Doing crimes at a young age will have a detrimental influence to the children and society as a whole.
Submitted by Mona on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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