Some people think that teenagers should work for free during their free time. They also believe that it will benefit the individual and society as a whole.

#people #teenagers #work #time #benefit #society

Although

, working without reward in their spare time by the pupil will be advantageous to the community as well as a human being. So, I firmly agree with

this

notion and reasons are mentioned in subsequent paragraphs.

To begin

with a

first

and foremost basis in

this

context is that they must understand the sense of responsibility in their early age of life which will be beneficial in

future

Suggestion

the future

. They value time and adopt good habits. To illustrate, if children

work

as a helper

then

they must understand the value of money and hard

work

Moreover

, the child would be able to know how their guardians do diligently to end meets.

Finally

, it contributed to making them a responsible citizen of the nation.

As a result

this

will help a group of people as well.

Furthermore

, it will help them to learn a new skill as well as explore a new area of interest and their mental level

also

rise up.

Likewise

, they would be able to do excel in academics. Having knowledge of a lot of skills in a prior stage of life leads to so many

careers

Suggestion

career

option

Suggestion

options

. To exemplify, topmost NGO's motivates pupil to participate in their activities to make them understand the real world. Adding to

this

, they gain new experiences along with

it they

Accept comma addition

it, they

learn to

work

in a team.

On the contrary

, it has some opposite impact

also

. As the adolescent is a very mild age and they are not able to take that much pressure. As we all are aware of the toughness of academic syllabus these days, along with that level of competition is

also

top

the sound made by a gentle blow

tap

. So, some folks argue that teenage ought to spend their free time

to play

Suggestion

playing

their favourite sports.

This

, to conclude the discussion, it can be commented that despite, the child has a hectic academic

schedule but

Accept comma addition

schedule, but

unpaid

work

avail from the

child make them

Suggestion

child to make them

responsible and inculcate integrity. My argument justifies the concept.

Submitted by naazchoudhary786 on Sun May 05 2019

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

328 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that teenagers should work for free during their free time. They also believe that it will benefit the individual and society as a whole.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How do we deal with those causes?

students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. what are the reasons and solutions for this issue?

In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Food travels thousands of miles from producers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for the environment and economy if people ate only the local food produced by farmers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?