Some people who are been in person become good citizens later, and it is of often agreed that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangerous of committing a crime. Extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #person #citizens #teenagers #crime

Whilst, many individuals who have stayed in jail become good natives later, and it is the generally these are the best

find

a person you know well and regard with affection and trust

friend

to speak narration about the

dangerous

Suggestion

dangers

danger

of committing a

crime

stop I agree with given statement stop I would discuss both views in the following paragraph. To embark with, there are myriad reasons why I

claiming

Suggestion

am claiming

claim

that ex _criminals youngster related to

crime

. The

first

and an important reason is that, it is a better way to wear teenager regarding

offence

Suggestion

the offence

However

, they have great experience from previous of offender life.

Moreover

, reformed offers can tell young people how they became involved in

crime

, the dangers of a criminal Lifestyle.

furthermore

in addition

Furthermore

, can

also

tell what life in prison is really like.

Thus

, they would help youngster stay away from

crime

In addition

, while adolescent are indifferent to the guidance given by

old

Suggestion

older

people. Imagine that most of them would be extremely keen to hear the story of ex offender.

Which that

Accept comma addition

Which, that

, these stories have

impact

Suggestion

an impact

on them. Contrary to the statement the alternative to using reformed criminals to educate about

crime

would be less effective.

Also

, if police officer visit to schools and to talk to young people

this

would be useful in term of informing things about what happen to law breakers when they caught.

Additionally

, some source would be useful for

student

Suggestion

students

the student

a student

to learn

drawbacks

Suggestion

the drawbacks

Suggestion

about

crime

Such

as educational movies might be informative. In the conclusion, I fully sport view that people who have turned their lives around after prison. They can help to deter teenager committing

crime

Submitted by naresh on Mon May 06 2019

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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