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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in the year 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in the year 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#results #survey #people #four #tourist #attraction #britain #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given pie
graph
Use synonyms
 shows a survey of Britain visitors which are
classification
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classified
show examples
 by types of facilities in the year 1999. A glance at the
graph
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 reveals that
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
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visitor
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choosed
Correct your spelling
chose
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 two main
place
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places
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theme
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parks
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 and
museums
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 and
gallaries
Correct your spelling
galleries
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, The proportion of
Theme
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Parks
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 especially
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
five
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into five
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 subgroups ;
blackpool
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Blackpool
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 pleasure beach, Alton Towers, Pleasureland, Southport, Chessington World of Adventures and
legolad
Correct your spelling
Legoland
Legolas
,Windsor. It is clear from the data , Wild
parks
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 and zoos did not
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 among visitors by %9.
However
Linking Words
, The
Parks
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 and
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Museums
Fix the agreement mistake
Museum
show examples
,
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Galleries
Correct word choice
and Galleries
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 hold
majority
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the majority
a majority
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 of graphs.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Theme
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Parks
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 most prefered places in
britain
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Britain
show examples
, there was
slight
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slightly
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 more
visitor
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 than
musems
Correct your spelling
museums
 and
galleries
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. The
museums
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 and
Gallaries
Correct your spelling
Galleries
second
Linking Words
 biggest part of
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graph
Add an article
the graph
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 ,
Although
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 covered roughly as equal as
Use synonyms
theme
Add an article
a theme
show examples
Use synonyms
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 could not hold
graph
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 more than
Use synonyms
theme
Add an article
a theme
show examples
Use synonyms
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
.
in addition
Linking Words
 the historic house moderate visitors by 16
percent
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per cent
show examples
. The
theme
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park
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divided
Add a missing verb
is divided
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5
Change preposition
into 5
show examples
subgroups
according to
Linking Words
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graph
Add an article
the graph
a graph
show examples
. the vast majority of
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visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
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 passed time in
blackpool
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Blackpool
show examples
pleassure
Correct your spelling
pleasure
 beach.
Small
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A small
The small
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 number of
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visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
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choosed
Correct your spelling
chose
show examples
legoland
Change the capitalization
Legoland
show examples
 by 10%. in conclusion,
theme
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Use synonyms
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
 and
museums
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 and
galleries
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the
Add a missing verb
are the
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 most visited places.
Linking Words
otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
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theme
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park
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 divided subgroups,
museums
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 and
galleries
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 could be the most visited facility in
britain
Change the capitalization
Britain
show examples
.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, visitor, theme, parks, museums, galleries, park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "divided" was used 2 times.
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