Some people think that work is the most important thing of people’s life. Without the success of career, life will become meaningless. To what extent do you

#people #work #people’s #life #success #career

There are many advocates of the opinion that career is the most important factor to measure a meaningful

life

However

, in my point of view, working is just one of many major ingredients that create a

life

that is

worth to live. It cannot be denied that job is a major financial source that help us to meet various demands and even to support

other

any of various alternatives; some other

another

life

First

of all, People need food, water, house and many other material things for their basic living so that We have to

work

hard to earn at least enough for our expenditures.

Moreover

, many others are even working to raise their children or support their beloved old parents and even other extra demands for a higher standard of living like a fancy car, a spacious house, delicious food,... These are the reasons why

job

Suggestion

the job

is really essential to

everyone

Suggestion

everyone's

life

On the other hand

refers to the speaker or writer

believe that job is just a tool to ensure a wealthy

life

and it is not enough for a meaningful

life

. There are many other things in our

life

that are

also

as valuable as career

such

as our

health

, our happiness and our relationship with

important ones

Suggestion

the important ones

. At

first

, we

can not

cannot

work

when we are ill. Employees

can not

cannot

do their best if they are lack of sleep. Workers at factories can not

work

with broken legs. Not only physical

health

but mental

health

also

worth

of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"

its

weight in gold. Everyone

need

Suggestion

needs

to take care of their mental

health

since we are human, we have

feeling

Suggestion

felt

. These days, mental problem

such

as stress, depression

Accept space

ect

are huge burden to many lives and even kill many of them. Those are the reason why people should pay more attention to their happiness, arrange enough time to relax and refueled their energy after

work

, take care of their relationship, spend enough time with their beloved ones. In conclusion, successful career is just a tool to create a beautiful

life

. There are many other valuable things that should be used to measure a meaningful

life

Submitted by Thanh on Wed May 08 2019

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

344 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that work is the most important thing of people’s life. Without the success of career, life will become meaningless. To what extent do you

Your opinion

the main part of the population tries to tend to involve lessons which it takes place on the Internet rather than attending offline classes

The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago, and governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed forces. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

some people say History is one of most important school subjects other people think that, in today world,subject like science and technology are more important than History.