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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this

#children #parents #part #time #job
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Parents are increasingly encouraging their children to get a
job
Use synonyms
 during their free
time
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.
Althoug
Suggestion
Although
, children will lack some sufficient
time
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 to
Use synonyms
rest but
Accept comma addition
rest, but
 they will eventually develop a significant value for money right from their early age. In my opinion, working during
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 will be
benefial
promoting or enhancing well-being
beneficial
 to both of them.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, working
at
Suggestion
in
on
this
Linking Words
 period will help them to develop value for cash, as they will
also
Linking Words
 have experience on how hard to earn a dollar. A very good example of
this
Linking Words
 is, when I was in high school, earning approximately about $50 per day, I always appreciate whatever was given to me by my parent. For
this
Linking Words
 reason, getting a
job
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in
Suggestion
at
this
Linking Words
time
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 will be incomparably essential.
Conversely
Linking Words
, while it is possible to get a
job
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by
Suggestion
with
 these children during
this
Linking Words
 precious
time
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 will deprive them from a significant quality
rest
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, which they
uoght
expresses an emotional, practical, or other reason for doing something
ought
 to have enjoyed.
it
Suggestion
It
 is obvious that, after spending their busy days in school, both in class, in
library
Suggestion
the library
libraries
 and in
prelactical
Suggestion
practice
practical
 rooms, the free
time
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that
Suggestion
that's
 supposed to be spent on
rest
Use synonyms
 would have
be
Suggestion
been
 used for another purpose.
For instance
Linking Words
, a child who goes to school 5days a week
also
Linking Words
 spent the remaining 2days working will eventually be tired and occasionally end up dozing off in class, of which, the possibility of losing concentration is evident. On these notes, utilizing
such
Linking Words
time
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 to work should be discouraged. To conclude, ultimately, getting a part
time
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
by
Suggestion
with
 the children during their free
time
Use synonyms
 has become incredibly common and having a work experience helps them to develop value for money despite that they
also
Linking Words
 lose their
time
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on
Suggestion
to
rest
Use synonyms
. From my point of view, working at
this
Linking Words
 precious
time
Use synonyms
 is more beneficial to both the children and their parents
Submitted by bamidade01 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibility
  • punctuality
  • work ethic
  • financial literacy
  • budgeting
  • time management
  • work experience
  • career prospects
  • independence
  • self-esteem
  • communication
  • interpersonal skills
  • academic responsibilities
  • school performance
  • hobbies
  • relaxation
  • well-being
  • stress
  • fatigue
  • premature adulthood
  • childhood experiences
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