Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages.

#media #age #groups #information #websites #risks

others

Suggestion

Others

Moreover

, recent controversial topic indicates that social media do have

bad effect

Suggestion

a bad effect

on people’s private lives, which I totally support in spite of its benefit to individuals. On the one hand, social media definitely breaks the distance gap between human, connects us all.

For example

, an oversea student

no longer feel

Suggestion

no longer feels

lonely anymore because one can always chat with one’s friends and make

video call

Suggestion

video calls

a video call

with parents.

In addition

, by sharing ideas or emotional stuff, our voices are heard, which boosts our confidence up and we feel more open to everyone.

Moreover

, information

are updated

Suggestion

is updated

instantly, from international news to local events, friends’ activities, which encourages our awareness of the world, makes us

more engage with

Suggestion

engage more with

our surrounding.

On the other hand

, the drawbacks of the social online platform might overweigh the positive side in my point of view.

Firstly

, people are becoming so addicted to social media that they keep staring at their phone screens, forget to directly interact with others. It is not unusual to see a quiet group meeting because everyone is so busy texting or taking pictures to post on the internet.

Secondly

, our private information are not safe

since

Suggestion

for

database business is getting popular. Every

status we

Accept comma addition

status, we

share, every picture is recorded and used for business. To sum up, we need to take social media into consideration, look at both sides of it to come up with the smartest way to use. If we are careful of what we share and try not to be

addited

compulsively or physiologically dependent on something habit-forming

addicted

to it, we can reduce the disadvantages and really enjoy the benefit it gives, which is bringing us closer to the world.

Submitted by Thanh on Fri May 10 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays most of the crimes are done by youngsters what are the causes of this and what solutions can be taken??

Global warming is one of the biggest threats human face in 21 st century and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions.

With growing number of populations in cities. Many people are living in small homes that don't have outdoor spaces. Is this is a positive or negative development?

In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?