Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #services

According to many people, the investment in art like music and theatre are nothing but causes of money. They believe that

this

money can be utilized to

fulfill

put in effect

fulfil

the increasing demand for public services like hospitals and schools. I agree with

this

statement to some extent.

This

essay will emphasize on the reasons why both are important to our

society

. Our

society

is built up with various elements. According to

few people

Suggestion

a few people

, some of them may not be that crucial

for

Suggestion

our existence. They believe that a community needs hospitals with advanced types of equipment and schools with innovative technology for the development of a better

society

For instance

, a hospital with all the diagnostic equipment’s like computed tomographic scan enables cloches to detect diseases at early stages result in fewer mortalities.

Thus

, government authorities must invest more finances in these essential sectors to strengthen their basic infrastructure. Despite the above facts, I still believe that field of

arts

Suggestion

the arts

also

important for a

society

if not equally. Artistic sculptures created over time

help

Suggestion

to help

us to remember our cultured existence. The stories reenacted by theatrical performances enable us to relive the history or feels the emotion of an artist, as we get connected with them emotionally at a subconscious level.

Furthermore

, the music

songs whether

Accept comma addition

songs, whether

traditional folklore or modern pop songs provide us the relaxing environment and entertainment, within

preservation

Suggestion

the preservation

of our cultural inheritance. In conclusion, I can confidently state that

government

Suggestion

the government

should invest more in public services.

However

, I do not believe that financial funding for the futuristic section is a total

wastage

Suggestion

waste

Submitted by vogepawuye on Mon May 13 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural enrichment
expression of creativity
promote diversity
enhance social cohesion
boost tourism
job creation
stimulate economic growth
improve quality of life
essential services
maintenance and development

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Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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