Sport is becoming a business with high income for professionals and more companies have involved in financial and in other ways. it is a positive or negative development?

It is clear that in

this

Linking Words

day and age, the development of sports has flourished so significantly with many professionals are born.

Consequently

Linking Words

, it is adequate to draw the attention of enterprises.

Although

Linking Words

I agree that

this

Linking Words

trend can develop in a positive way, I would argue that there are certain drawbacks that should not be neglected. Sports certainly has widespread and profound influences on our lives.

First

Linking Words

and foremost, firms are the group to benefit from it in the

first

Linking Words

place. Via the advertisements of their products being

showed

Suggestion

shown

at the stadiums, companies stand a great chance of reaping an enormous amount of profit. According to a survey conducted in 2016, in America, large enterprises

such

Linking Words

as Pepsi and KFC take advantage of

World Cup

Suggestion

the World Cup

the most due to the great number of spectators.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the current trend can produce incentives for individuals to work out more often.

This

Linking Words

happens because of a belief among those people that they can earn a lot of money from becoming the professionals in sports. Despite these

arguements

a fact or assertion offered as evidence that something is true

arguments

, I still believe that there are significant disadvantages that we can witness quite often. Due to the high density of the involvement of companies. Before these

intervension

the act of intervening (as to mediate a dispute, etc.)

interventions

, sports had always given prominence to the morale of entertainment and relaxation.

However

Linking Words

, sports events nowadays are nothing more than the competitions among enterprises to have the opportunity to perform the advertisements.

Moreover

Linking Words

, degradation of meanings of sports might lead to individuals being discouraged from involving in these activities. In consequence, it can result in problems relating to health

phisically

in accord with physical laws

physically

and mentally. In conclusion, I believe that the advance of sports can have positive effects on human.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, as every coin has two faces, there are noteworthy disadvantages that we should be aware of.

Thanh Thu May 16 2019

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Sport is becoming a business with high income for professionals and more companies have involved in financial and in other ways. it is a positive or negative development?

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solution can you suggest?

Many people feel that most of the urgent problems can only be solved by international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?