Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have a health problem as a result. Why to many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

Of late, reports are suggesting that, obesity and other
health
issues have been
increased
Suggestion
increasing
at a rapid speed in working professionals especially in white
colored
a band that fits around the neck and is usually folded over
collared
employees. The main reason behind
this
is, they do not get adequate workouts and do not spend enough time to do so. I shall discuss my views on
this
in
this
essay.
First
and foremost, employees do spend
good amount
Suggestion
a good amount
of time to complete their task and few might even take longer periods to finish the work, which has been assigned to them. And in non-working hours they would like to spend their time
of
Suggestion
on
what they desire.
For example
, enjoying with either families or friends or by doing their passionate works.
Secondly
, few professionals may think that they reached to the level what they wanted to be and
as a result
of
this
they stop doing the workouts. To overcome
this issues
Suggestion
this issue
these issues
, both employers and employees should take necessary actions.
First
, employers had to install gym and other workout equipment’s in the work environment.
Second
, employers should
also
setup awareness campaigns and they should explain the
health
benefits of doing exercise.
Employees
Suggestion
The employees
, have to monitor their body mass index at regular intervals and if there are any changes in their
body
Accept comma addition
body, then
then
they should immediately consider to start either running or any other workout activities. They could even
start playing few
Suggestion
start playing a few
start playing little
start playing little little
games like badminton, tennis or any outdoor games.
This
would reduce the fat content in the body. Being healthy should be the highest priority to any one, after all
health
is wealth. To overcome the
health
hazards in working
professionals both
Accept comma addition
professionals, both
employers and employees should work hand in hand.
Submitted by srilakshmi1390 on

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next: