IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think governments are responsible for peoples health, others believe its an indiviuduals responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #governments #peoples #health #indiviuduals #responsibility
    Healthcare remains a very crucial part of out basic amenities. The topic of whether or not people or the
government
 should be held accountable for issues
partaining
be relevant to
pertaining
 to
health
,  remains very controversial. In my opinion, the
government
 should be solely in charge of the
health
 of its citizens at all times.     On one hand,
health
 care as well as the funding for the research into cures and vaccines are expensive. Private firms and singular entities cannot bear the burden alone.
Furthermore
, the cost of hospital admissions, investigations and medications would cripple the finances of the individual without
governemt
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
government
 aid and policies. All fingers are not equal,
therefore
, the
government
 plays a huge role by providing subsidized care to patients in its publicly funded facilities.
For example
, data from a survey carried out by the World
Health
 Organization
,
Accept space
,
 in Nigeria
,
Accept space
,
 in 2013, revealed that many Nigerians depend entirely on the
government
 to access excellent medical care.     
On the other hand
, people are the masters of their bodies. Most diseases in the world today are preventable,
that is
, they are mostly caused by poor lifestyle choices. Individuals should
incocate
teach and impress by frequent repetitions or admonitions
inculcate
 the habit of proper diet, exercise and regular medical checkups to keep fit and
also
  to detect illnesses
at
Suggestion
in
 the early stages.    In conclusion, while some are of the opinion that governments should be responsible for
health
, others are of the school of thought that it rests on the individual. I believe that it is the  responsibility of governments to cater for the
health
 of all its nationals.
Submitted by adufeakinyemi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: