Some people think that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sport starts are paid too much. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Which other type of job should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #film #stars #pop #musicians #sport #type #job

The entertainment industry has become a symbol of affluence. It is

therefore

not surprising that some individuals believe stars are outrageously paid. I completely agree with

this

opinion and I believe that professionals who are involved with the welfare of the people

such

as health personnel, farmers -to mention a few- should rather be paid more.

Firstly

, lavishing footballers, actors and musicians with so much money is synonymous to a waste of the nation’s resources.

This

is because, a lot of them affect the youths negatively with the way they flaunt

their wealth all

Suggestion

all their wealth

over social media and

this

has pushed a lot of young boys and girls into depression. The money

should

Accept comma addition

should, therefore

therefore

, be channeled into establishing University or college graduates in business. By so doing, most of them whose salary is meagre or without a job will benefit and live a better life.

For instance

, the government of Nigeria has slashed the monthly income of footballers by half and created business opportunities for interested youths,

thus

, taking them off the streets.

This

Accept comma addition

This, therefore

therefore

, has contributed to a reduction in the rate of unemployment.

Secondly

, reducing

income

Suggestion

the income

of stars in the entertainment industry will help to improve the overall health of the people.

This

can be achieved by increasing the income of health professionals as

this

will serve as a motivation for better commitment to their job.

In addition

, the people’s well being can

also

be improved by supporting farmers financially to boost their farm produce.

For example

, China’s investment in Agriculture has made them the highest importer of food products,

therefore

causing an improvement in their economy. In conclusion, investing in the welfare of the people with the wages allocated for star entertainers is more economical and will cause an overall turn around in the nation’s economy

Submitted by Dammy on Fri May 17 2019

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sport starts are paid too much. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Which other type of job should be highly paid?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

People living in large cites today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?

Some think that resident should be responsible for keeping their areas clean and tidy, while others says it is the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage students . Do you think its advantages outweigh its disadvantages?