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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, some celebrities such as film stars, sportsmen and pop musicians are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which jobs should be highly paid?

#celebrities #film #stars #sportsmen #pop #musicians #money #jobs
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It is argued that in today’s era, individuals in the field of sports and entertainment are paid more than other professions. In my opinion, despite the fact that these artists are true representatives of a country,
masses
Suggestion
the masses
 must be paid on the basis of their qualification and experience. On one hand, celebrities
such
Linking Words
 as sportsmen and film stars are the valuable assets
to
Suggestion
of
 a nation as they are always known worldwide by the name of their country from where they belong.
For instance
Linking Words
, players like Messi and film stars like Paul Walker are famous artists from Australia and England respectively.
Consequently
Linking Words
, these individuals earn more in reward of their efforts as they are considered as a
nations’
Suggestion
nation’s
 pride.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, paying must be based on professional degree an individual
have
Suggestion
has
. Take,
for example
Linking Words
, doctors and engineers who sacrifice their time and put all their efforts for attaining their degrees are eligible more to have
high amount
Suggestion
a high amount
 of income. Along with that, salaries must reflect the experience that employees have and the hard work they put
in
Suggestion
into
 their work. To illustrate, poor people who spend years in employment on a workplace by working efficiently for the progress of an organization are the right candidates who deserve to be paid more.
Therefore
Linking Words
, remuneration to employees should be purely based on
expertise
Suggestion
the expertise
 and capabilities the individuals are having. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
 the celebrities
such
Linking Words
 as sportsmen, film stars and pop musician are a
nations’
Suggestion
nation’s
 pride, I opine that masses having adequate degrees and experience of working are the right ones for high income.
Submitted by yasir.ahmad2320 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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