Some people think it is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment for people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Most of citizens consider how did governments allot public money. Some people argued that taxes
should be spend
Suggestion
should spend
on promoting a healthy lifestyle than spend it on the medical treatment. From my point of view, I totally agree that governments should focus on preventing illness. For a variety of reasons,
this
argument will be
prove
Suggestion
proving
proved
proven
that prevention is better than cure, and already ill people
are expected
Suggestion
were expected
to be at their
terminal
Suggestion
term
life.
Firstly
,
administration
Suggestion
the administration
should raise awareness about healthy lifestyle to prevent illness effectively. Nowadays, many common diseases
such
as obesity, blood sugar, heart disease are leading to an unhealthy lifestyle. These health problems can be prevented by diet foods, doing physical activities regularly, etc.
For instance
, Vietnamese adults have started eating vegetable, organic food and drinking
nuts
Suggestion
nut
milk to improve their quality’s life.
Secondly
, governments can save a lot of money and effort when they invest in preventing medical problems. They could build
more central
Suggestion
most central
parks to encourage citizens on doing
exercises
Suggestion
the exercises
.
In addition
to
,
Accept space
,
celebrate some healthy events like The Running day, 30days challenge with diet foods,.. I think
this
will valuable than spend on the treatment for people who are already ill.
However
, governments should spend partly on medical treatment. Some diseases like cancer, Ebola
,
Accept space
,
AIDS cannot be cured. So Administration should not waste money on these diseases, they just need to spend on somebody who can be cured.
Submitted by Thanh on

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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