IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart summarises the number of nurses in different department in Sunnyside Hospital

The chart summarises the number of nurses in different department in Sunnyside Hospital
The bar chart provides information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of
nurses
Use synonyms
 in
subdivision
Correct article usage
the subdivision
show examples
 ( Emergency, Theatre, Maternity and Cardiac
unit
Use synonyms
) in Sunnyside Hospital between 2016 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
maternity
Correct article usage
the maternity
show examples
 department had almost the same
number
Use synonyms
 of
nurses
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 other units experience fluctuations within the period.
To begin
Linking Words
, Theatre had the highest
number
Use synonyms
 is
nurses
Use synonyms
 of about 60 in the year 2018
while
Linking Words
Cardiac
Correct article usage
the Cardiac
show examples
unit
Use synonyms
 recorded the least (30) in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2016. Meanwhile,
Emergency
Correct article usage
the Emergency
show examples
 and Cardiac
Use synonyms
unit
Fix the agreement mistake
units
show examples
 had the same
number
Use synonyms
 of
nurses
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about 50 in the year 2016 and 2017 respectively.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 other units experienced marked fluctuations, there was no significant difference between the
nurses
Use synonyms
 that worked in
Maternity
Correct article usage
the Maternity
show examples
unit
Use synonyms
 throughout the period.
Whereas
Linking Words
, 2017 outnumbered other years by 2nurses.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, nurses, unit with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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