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Band 5.5

Some people believe that unpaid community services should be the compulsory part of high school programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #services #part #school #programmes
Recently, charity
work
 has been
greately
to an extraordinary extent or degree
greatly
 debated. It is proposed by some that the charitable services should be an integral part of secondary education. I do agree with the recommended idea and
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 think they could be beneficial to shape a welfare society.
To begin
 with, unpaid community
work
 and welfare of the other is
thenoble
Suggestion
the noble
 job of
righteous member
Suggestion
a righteous member
righteous members
 of any society. Including charity organizations
work
 as a must to do part of high school education, has
myriad
Suggestion
a myriad
 of advantageous, not only to the student but to the whole community. To elaborate,
firstly
, it will create
sense
Suggestion
a sense
 of responsibility, helping and cleaning in pupils.
they
Suggestion
They
 would come to know what part they are expected to play and how
mutaul
common to or shared by two or more parties
mutual
 efforts are channeled to upgrade
sorroundings
the environmental condition
surroundings
.
For example
, in Japan, unpaid community
work
 carries a
weightage
 in
final exam
Suggestion
the final exam
a final exam
final exams
,
hence
 we see Japan as a social state.
Secondly
, certainly, team
work
 is the key to
succes
an event that accomplishes its intended purpose
success
. It will
improve enhance
Accept comma addition
improve, enhance
 cooperation and communication among the students and the valued members of society. When students
work
 in groups, they come in contact with people from the different
back grounds
a person's social heritage: previous experience or training
backgrounds
 and cultures, it will help
aleviate
provide physical relief, as from pain
alleviate
elevate
mutual difference
Suggestion
mutual differences
a mutual difference
 for a common cause.
For instance
, a social studies research has revealed that people involved in group
taska
any piece of work that is undertaken or attempted
tasks
are tend
Suggestion
tend
are tending
 to be more sociable than those who do not participate team
work
. To conclude,
although
 making free social service a unit of secondary education may a burden to some, but it can prove as minder of new generation, instilling
sense
Suggestion
a sense
the sense
 caring and cooperation in them.
Submitted by ieltsprep68 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community services
  • valuable learning experiences
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • problem-solving
  • responsibility
  • empathy
  • personal growth
  • character development
  • positive impacts
  • local communities
  • society
  • undermine
  • purpose
  • effectiveness
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