IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Women should have an equal role alongside men in both police and armed forces. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#women #role #men #police #forces
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The number of women who would like to participate in both
police
Use synonyms
 and armed forces is increasingly in the
last
Linking Words
 few years. While some people think that women are not suitable for both
police
Use synonyms
 and armed
force
Suggestion
forces
, I believe that their role in these sectors is crucial. On the one hand, some people think that women must not be equal to work in the
police
Use synonyms
 force or army. One reason behind is women are less physical abilities than men.
For instance
Linking Words
, men are more capable of arresting the
criminals or
Accept comma addition
criminals, or
 more powerful in the long journey across the deadly battlefields.
In addition
Linking Words
, female emotion is less fitted than male ones to take over important missions. In many cases, they might face with horrible
accidental
Suggestion
accident
 scenes, or dangerous criminal gangs and they could not keep calm as men do. As the result, men are more potential to work for military or
police
Use synonyms
 sector.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, both genders should be given the same opportunity to have these kinds of job.
First
Linking Words
, women are better in critical thinking. The truth is that many women had participated in various national
defense
Suggestion
defences
defence
 to protect their motherland out of the war, contributed to country's liberty.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, women are good communicators with great interpersonal skills and it is helpful in situations where victims feel more comfortable discussing the details of a crime with a female officer.
Submitted by Thanh on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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