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Band 4.5

PARENTS OF OBESE CHILDREN SHOULD BE PUNISHED FOR MAKING THEIR CHILDREN FAT. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

#parents #children
Globally, juvenile obesity has become a matter of serious concern. It is often debated that parents should be penalized for the problem of overweight in children.
This
 essay will argue in support of the premise that they should be sanctioned for
this
.
Firstly
, parents
have become
Suggestion
has become
 too busy to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 the nutritional needs of their children by purchasing and feeding them with junk foods purchased from fast food outlets, rather than make healthy homemade meals. The problem is not in ensuring that young ones are kept full on their stomach;
instead
, the challenge lies with the fact that young people are fed with diets that foster excessive
weight
 gain, a situation that some care givers have refused to give attention to. 95% of young obese individuals were found to be a product of homes where mothers feed young people with restaurant foods, according to a recent survey conducted in India.
Thus
, feeding young ones with diets that promotes overweight is a serious offence that they should be held accountable for.
Secondly
, once plump, many juveniles find it challenging to shed the
weight
 gained because their guardians do not encourage them to engage in physical activities that could enhance
weight
 loss. Most fathers and/or mothers do not take physical exercises seriously. So, assisting there become an arduous task. In many Nigerian homes,
for instance
, it’s not a common practice to see fathers and mothers and their children engaging in
keep
Suggestion
keeping
 fit routine.
As a result
,
weight
-loss becomes a challenge for young ones suffering from corpulence. Overall, failure on the part of some father and mother to assist their young loved ones in losing some calories, make them responsible for the
weight
 gained by their offspring.
This
 essay
have argued
Suggestion
has argued
argues
 why parents should be punished for the obese nature of their wards.
Conclusively
Suggestion
Concluding
,
then
, they should be regarded as the cause of nutritional deficiency and activities that foster obesity in little ones.
Submitted by preshyose143 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • genetics
  • socio-economic status
  • nutritional education
  • physical activity programs
  • adverse effects
  • mental health issues
  • responsibility sharing
  • implementation
  • privileged families
  • supportive environment
  • lifestyle changes
  • educational campaigns
What to do next:
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