IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

In many countries, education fees for children are partly or fully supported by the government. While this may cause some potential problems, I believe that the benefits are greater.

#countries #education #fees #children #government
There are a number of positive impacts when the government provides some financial support for children‟s education.
Firstly
, the governmental subsidy will encourage more children to go to school. It is true that children are the future of a country, so
the greater
Suggestion
the greatest
 investment we make in their education, the better
workforce we
Accept comma addition
workforce, we
 have in
future
Suggestion
the future
, which is the precursor of economic growth.
Secondly
, governmental funding for educating children will relieve some financial burdens falling on parents, so they have more money to spend on better nutrition and health care for children than before.
On the other hand
, when the tuition fees for educating children are subsidised by the authority, several problems can be anticipated. The main disadvantage of
this
 would be that some important sectors of the economy,
such
 as infrastructure and agriculture, will be insufficiently invested in; as a consequence, the economy will be held back from development. Another drawback is that some taxpayers, especially those who live alone or who are childless, may feel unfair because part of their money is paid to educate other people‟s children.
However
, these negative consequences can be negated by the contributions that children make to
their
objective case of they
them
countries
Suggestion
Countries
 when they grow older. In conclusion,
although
 spending the national budget on the education of children may have potential problems, I believe that its advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by Thanh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: