Music should not be taught in schools. Instead other subjects such as computer and science should be taught. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#music #schools #subjects #computer #science

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It is considered by many that subjects

such

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as computer and

science

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should be preferred to subjects

such

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music

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Although

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computer and

science

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are crucial subjects, in my opinion, they cannot replace

music

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as it has its own importance.

Firstly

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music

Suggestion

the music

comes under the category of art and

therefore

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, it cannot be compared with

science

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In other words

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, often

music

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represents the culture and custom of a community which cannot be represented by other means. If

music

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is replaced in schools with other subjects, newer generation will never be able to fully understand and connect with their community’s culture.

For example

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, often a lot of traditional stories are told in the form of folk songs because the

music

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in the folk songs helps the children to understand the situation and

emotions

Suggestion

the emotions

of the story. Another point to consider before preferring subjects like computers to

music

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is that every child has different interests. While some students may be interested in

science

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, there will be many who are interested in

music

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Moreover

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, students will get to know about the

music

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at a young

age which

Accept comma addition

age, which

will increase

career

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options available to them.

For instance

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, a lot of famous musicians discovered

music

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as a subject in their school. Ultimately, they found value in

music

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and chose it as their

career

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path. In conclusion,

music

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is as important as subjects like computer and

science

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because it has cultural significance and helps people to understand emotions. While other subjects have good

career

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opportunities,

music

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also

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offers a

career

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with money and fame.

Hence

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, I think it will be unwise to replace

music

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with other subjects.

Submitted by nmanoj007 on Mon Jun 03 2019

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Music should not be taught in schools. Instead other subjects such as computer and science should be taught. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with the sentence?

Although more and more people read the news on the Internet, newspaper will remain the most important source of news for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree with that statement?

Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things. Q: What is your opinion?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?