Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree? To what extent is this the price they pay for being famous? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

#argument #case #reader #specialist #topic #film #stars #music #celebrities #money #surroundings #lives #price #support #arguments #evidence

We have witnessed the fame and the money that surrounds the movie or pop music stars. In recent years, the craze has even grown more than it ever was in the

last

decade. For

younger generation

Suggestion

the younger generation

a younger generation

younger generations

, some of these celebrities are idols, but if they really enjoy a happy

life

, or not, is a different story. Some of them have a very sad

existance

the state or fact of existing

existence

and their stardom is

resonsible

worthy of or requiring responsibility or trust; or held accountable

responsible

for it, up to some point. I personally think being famous has its own set of problems, which does affect these

star's

Suggestion

stars'

lives very much. For starters, sometimes being popular simply means, the person is under the

survillance

close observation of a person or group (usually by the police)

surveillance

at all times. The more popular stars have media cameras recording every minute of their lives.

This

might seem like getting a lot of attention and importance

initially

, but soon it starts making people uncomfortable.

In other words

, imagine someone following you with a camera every single minute of the day. I am sure it would be a very unnerving experience. The fame blurs lines between the personal space and professional

appereances

outward or visible aspect of a person or thing

appearances

appearance

, which makes a person frustrated at times.'

Additionally

, their fame makes them

easy target

Suggestion

easy targets

an easy target

for abduction, extortion and other similar crimes. They need to be under security all the time.

For example

, I have heard many film actors get calls threatening them for

life

, if they don't pay the ransom amount.

Also

, in personal

life

, it becomes difficult to identify, if the relationship they create, are really with genuine people, or opportunists who wants to use them for their personal gain. That being said, not all problems occur due to external factors. Some stars can't handle their success and it affects their personalities as some undesired traits like arrogance starts surfacing. These

type

Suggestion

types

of qualities

starts

Suggestion

start

pushing real friends away.

Also

, with success comes expectations,

which if

Accept comma addition

which, if

not managed, can lead to stress. In conclusion, even though being a famous star might sound like a

life

without complaints, it's actually far from it.

Submitted by schatrola on Mon Jun 03 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

332 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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