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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Task 2: People eat more processed food than they did in the past. Why is it? And what are the effects of this?

#people #food #effects
People consume lots of ready
food
 rather than they did many years ago.
This
 is because they
tent
have a tendency or disposition to do or be something; be inclined
tend
 to spend more time at
work
, opposed to the past.
This
 essay will suggest that causing many serious
diseases
Suggestion
disease
 impacts significantly on
this
this
 phenomenon. It can be seen obviously that people in modern society are busier than they used to be in the past because they prefer working longer hours. Even somebody spends 12 hours at their office to accomplish their
work
.
As a result
, people will be fatigued and they don’t have
mood
Suggestion
the mood
 to cook anymore. They always opt to eat ready foods from the restaurants or
food
 courts. In fact, my eating habit is the prime example for
this
 case. I like buying processed
food
 to eat for lunch and dinner so that I can save more time to rest after
work
.
On the other hand
,
this
 phenomenon is the reason to cause many critical sicknesses
such
 as blood pressure, obesity, diabetes and so on. People cannot ensure that processed foods
contains
Suggestion
contain
 healthy ingredients
instead
 of high calories. Even some of them are tough to digest and prevent from metabolism.
For example
, there are many children and adults in Dubai having obesity and diabetes because they consume instant foods
frequently
Accept comma addition
frequently, such
such
 as fried chicken, chips in their meals. To
conlude
decide by reasoning; draw or come to a conclusion
conclude
this
 essay consuming processed
food
 has been
prioritsed
assign a priority to
prioritised
 in
this
 modern world. More and more people are eating them because they are so busy
to
Suggestion
working
work
longer
Suggestion
long
 hours.
However
 the effect of
this
 habit can be the resource of many serious diseases to people’s wellness.
Submitted by thuongtran1113 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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