IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Modern building change the character and appearance of towns and cities. The government should insist that new buildings be built in traditional styles to protect cultural identity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Over the
last
Linking Words
 decade, there has been a change in the design and appearance of buildings around the world. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it should be constructed in a traditional style to preserve their cultural heritage. In my opinion, I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view because
culture
Use synonyms
 is dynamic, and would discourage new innovations.
culture
Use synonyms
 is not static. The current look of structures in the countryside is not the same
centuries
Change preposition
as centuries
show examples
 ago. Houses were built with clay or plant leaves, and today
it is
Verb problem
they are made
show examples
 with cement or bricks.
For example
Linking Words
, in 1884 houses
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in rural areas were made of mud and bamboo. If we prevent the building with modern designs we will be limiting our abilities to develop
culture
Use synonyms
, and
this
Linking Words
 would hinder growth. To encourage new ideas,
people
Use synonyms
 should be allowed to construct buildings to have a modern appearance.
Also
Linking Words
, the new look helps us to differentiate the cities from the rural areas.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these innovations result from tackling challenges
face
Wrong verb form
faced
show examples
 the some regions.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Lagos, skyscrapers are built to help overcome the limited land available. And if the introduction of new technology were discouraged it would be impossible to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem. In conclusion.
although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 think that to protect their cultural identity the government should enforce designs of
build be
Correct your spelling
buildings
show examples
 made in
traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
show examples
 style, I believe that it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
has a negative effect on society. That means
this
Linking Words
 would discourage
people
Use synonyms
 from developing new ideas, and there would be no growth in our
culture
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic. The statement should clearly show if you agree or disagree and should summarize your main reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking words to connect your ideas better. Words like 'firstly', 'however', and 'for example' can help improve the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusions, avoid starting with 'In conclusion'. Instead, summarize your main points in a more engaging way.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for small grammar mistakes, like 'the introduction of new technology were discouraged.' This should be 'was discouraged'.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your arguments. For instance, you cited the construction in Lagos which added depth to your essay.
task achievement
Your opinion was clear and consistent throughout the essay, which is important for indicating your stance.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: