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Band 5

TOPIC: some students tend to play computer games rather than do sports.Why is this?What can be done to tackle the problem?

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Introduction
Sports have now been replaced by computer games where students tend to indulge them in the multiple videos that are easily available.There are mainly two reasons for
this
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 kind of behaviour.
Firstly
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,
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,
its easy affordability and
secondly
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,
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,
can be attributed to
Use synonyms
generation
Suggestion
generational
 wave.It is difficult to find a definite
solution but
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solution, but
 with the help of parents and the
school
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 teachers
,
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,
along with the government
,
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,
some strategic policy can be implemented which will help students to focus more on outdoor games
.
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.
Body paragraph 1
To stay healthy and active students should engage themselves more in football and hockey.It has become rather common these days to entertain themselves with attractive computer games.
This
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 is because it is readily available at home or any multiplexes where they can enjoy playing their favourite video games, but at the cost of high expense about which they are totally unaware of. To add on
,
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,
parents
also
Linking Words
 provide children with various sorts of playing videos which have a detrimental effect on the development of
child’s brain
Suggestion
a child’s brain
the child’s brain
.Nowadays, pupils have been severely brainwashed by the marvel comics where they can see their
avengers
Suggestion
avenger
 fighting
,
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,
which in another way is literally hampering their studies. Unfortunately
,
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,
this
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generation
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 wave is spreading rapidly to engulf the entire youth.
Body paragraph 2
This
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 upcoming problem is really
problematic which
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problematic, which
 should be tackled very delicately. Students belonging to the current
generation
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 should be handled with proper care since they are vulnerable. Any measure
sholud
expresses an emotional, practical, or other reason for doing something
should
solid
first
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 start from home, where parents can motivate them to play outdoor sports rather providing them with discs.
Moreover
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, specific stress should made on the health hazards like obesity.In
this
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 context
,
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,
school
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 teachers can
gude
direct the course; determine the direction of travelling
guide
 them with proper health education and the benefits of sporting outside.
Furthermore
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, government policies can support with banning of some harmful video content and making outdoor games compulsory in the
school
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 curriculum.
Conclusion
To conclude, outdoor sports
is
Suggestion
are
 beneficial in many aspects and should be encouraged by all.Students should actively participate in outside activities rather wasting their precious time in focussing on computer games. The problem is in the youth because of its easy access to these videos and the mindset of
this
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generation
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.
Although
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,
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,
it seems hard to
solve but
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solve, but
 the problem can surely be overcome by a joint effort of the family
,
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,
school
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 and government.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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