As a country develops, people tend to buy more cars. Do the advantages for the individual outweigh the disadvantages for the environment.

People
usually purchase more
cars
when a nation progresses. In my opinion,
this
could be
advantages
Replace the word
advantageous
show examples
for them as it is convenient and useful in daily use but
also
has
Correct article usage
a
show examples
few drawbacks to be taken into account. Admittedly, there are some obvious benefits of buying a car.
Firstly
, it is very convenient to use when you have a big family.
For example
, if a family
is consists
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
of four to five
people
, it
oftens
Correct your spelling
often
becomes difficult to travel together from
one
place to another. Public transport might be a solution but not all the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
Hence
if a family of more than five members buys a car, they can comfortably move
where ever
Correct your spelling
wherever
show examples
needed.
Secondly
,
cars
can be used in harsh
climate
Fix the agreement mistake
climates
show examples
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
during summer when the temperature is extremely hot. Since
air
conditioners can be installed in
cars
,
one
can avoid the heat outside.
Thus
,
one
can protect themselves from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
from the weather.
Nevertheless
, there are some crucial disadvantages which cannot be ignored.
One
of the main disadvantages is the effect of smoke emitted
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cars
and other vehicles. These gases
rises
Change the verb form
rise
show examples
in the
air
and
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
air
pollution.
This
will not only harm the respiratory system of
people
but
also
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
serious effects on the environment.
Due to
the rising level of pollution in
air
Add an article
the air
show examples
, the ozone layer, which protects us from
sun's
Correct article usage
the sun's
show examples
harmful rays, is becoming thin. The other vital drawback is the congestion which is caused
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
the increase in the number of
cars
on
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
show examples
. Heavy congestion on roads creates major difficulties for
people
.
For example
, extreme traffic on roads causes
delay
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delays
show examples
for an ambulance to reach
Add an article
the
show examples
hospital on time.
As a result
, the patient might lose his life.
To conclude
, I think though we have many benefits with
cars
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
the drawbacks
such
as pollution and congestion are more important than the advantages.
Submitted by vamshi.kasha94 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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