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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Parents and teachers make many rules for children to encourage good behaviour and protect them from danger. However, children would benefit from fewer rules and greater freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?

#parents #teachers #rules #children #behaviour #danger #freedom
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Children are mostly bought up with a set of rules and regulations around them. Most of these rules are imposed by their parents and tutors in order to make them well
behaving
Suggestion
behave
individual
Suggestion
individually
 and to safeguard from any dangers. A few people believe that kids will be happy if fewer rules are imposed on them and more
freedom
Use synonyms
 is given. I totally agree with the argument that children deserve more
freedom
Use synonyms
;
however
Linking Words
, they should be monitored and made to follow the rules that are set out for them. On the one hand, children
too undergo
Suggestion
undergo
to undergo
 tension and problems. When they are granted
Use synonyms
freedom
Suggestion
the freedom
 they have the opportunity to talk about their problems to their parents and teachers.
For instance
Linking Words
, today kids enjoy more
freedom
Use synonyms
 with their parents and they talk things openly. Since they
are offered
Suggestion
offer, this
offer this
this
Linking Words
freedom
Use synonyms
 we get to know what problems they face and we can guide them on their issues. Whereas, when children do not have the
freedom
Use synonyms
 to express their problems with their
parents they go
Suggestion
parents, they go
parents as they go
 into depression because they are worried and scared.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is vital that strict rules and guidelines should be made for children. Kids are too young to understand what is good and bad. It is the responsibility of teachers and parents to ensure that kids are
bought
take something or somebody with oneself somewhere
brought
 up by following the rules they have set.
Moreover
Linking Words
, making children follow rules from a young age will benefit them when they grow up because even adults are asked to follow rules
such
Linking Words
 as traffic rules, and so on. So when children are trained to follow rules from a young
age they
Accept comma addition
age, they
 will ensure
that throughout
Accept comma addition
that, throughout
 their life they are good citizens by following all rules set by the government or at their workplace. To conclude, under the guidance of parents and
teachers
Suggestion
teachers'
 kids have to be given their
freedom
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
freedom
Use synonyms
 given to them can sometimes create wonders in their life by helping them find what they like doing. At the same time, they should be monitored and must be asked to strictly adhere to the rules that are set at school and home. Do you have an essay on
this
Linking Words
 topic? Submit it below in the comments for a free band score estimate.
Submitted by vibhasathesh on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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