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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health Others believe that governments should make sure that citizen is healthy. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #responsibility #individuals #care #health #governments #citizen
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Increasing population and disease explosion are two
phenomenon
Suggestion
phenomena
 that go hand in hand.
Health
Use synonyms
 related challenges
is becoming
Suggestion
are becoming
 more paramount for many nations. On the one hand, there is the belief that individuals are responsible to keep themselves in good shape.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, it is thought by some that the State is solely responsible for the
health
Use synonyms
 of their subjects. Recently, many will argue that how well we are
is largely
Accept comma addition
is, largely
, if not entirely dependent on our personal actions and decisions. It is an undeniable fact that many of us live in a society where the individual does have a considerable degree of control over their
lifestyle but
Accept comma addition
lifestyle, but
 choose to act negligently because they are comfortable living in a sedentary and nonchalant lifestyle. In China, for
instances where
Suggestion
instance, where
instance where
 citizens’
have
Suggestion
has
 access to the vast majority of product and services including GYM facilities, Nutritional food,
such
Linking Words
 as farm produce to mention a few. All of these encourage healthy wellbeing,
although
Linking Words
 some illness is unavoidable. In
such
Linking Words
 an opportune state people should tend to take their
health
Use synonyms
 more seriously. The concept of personal responsibility, will not be attainable to all individual due to lack financial
capacity and
Accept comma addition
capacity, and
 exposure
on
Suggestion
to
health
Use synonyms
-related matters. In many developing countries the basic essentials of
life food, clothing
Suggestion
life, food, clothing
 and shelter are still outside the reach of many.
Hence
Linking Words
,
health
Use synonyms
 services provided by the government
is
Suggestion
are
 a most definite essential in
this
Linking Words
 scenario. It should be the point of duty of the state to provide access to free medical checkups, affordable drugs and necessary vaccines
.
Accept space
.
This
Linking Words
 is of great importance for the a productive and disease-free nation. To conclude, without accessible
health
Use synonyms
 care through government funding many people will not be able to take adequate care of themselves due to financial constraint and lack of knowledge.
Likewise
Linking Words
, each person should be able to priorities their own wellbeing, which can be done by accessing the different
health
Use synonyms
 products and services which can be done by proper diet and regular exercise and frequent
check-ups
a thorough physical examination; includes a variety of tests depending on the age and sex and health of the person
checkups
.
Submitted by afusatadebayo23 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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