IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The only way to solve the increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. To what extent do you agree?

#crime #rate #offenders #parents #skills
Family environment and upbringing has a huge impact on the psychology of a child. It is the value system they are brought up in that
shapes
Suggestion
shape
 their personalities. I completely agree that parenting
skills play
Accept comma addition
skills, play
 a major role in how children behave in society. Many studies point to an unhappy childhood as the root cause for juveniles committing acts of
crime
. Parenting skills
is
Suggestion
are
 an ignored topic in many societies. Learning how to communicate better with children is a skill that needs nurturing and development over time. One needs to understand the impact that bad parenting can have on children. In recent years we have seen a rise in Juvenile
crime
.
This
 could be due to families becoming more nuclear and not having the support or wisdom of elders in the family. There is
also
 an increasing trend of both parents working which can make a child feel alone and disconnected from the family. Given these circumstances, it becomes essential for parents to communicate well and to plan their schedules effectively. These skills are not viewed as essential by a lot of parents.
This
 can have a negative impact on the
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 of a child and cause feelings of depression, anger and sadness. If these feelings are left unaddressed, they can escalate into acts of
crime
. For a harmonious and peaceful society, every individual needs to contribute and develop the future generation is a task that starts at home.
Hence
, teaching parenting skills to parents is the right approach to decreasing the
crime
 rate of young offenders.
Submitted by ibm.mithu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: