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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say taxes should be spent on health care. Other people say that there more important priorities for the tax-payers’ money. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

#people #taxes #health #care #priorities #tax-payers’ #money
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On the one hand, prioritizing
health
Use synonyms
 care could bring great benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
health
Use synonyms
 system these days almost cost people an arm and leg which makes it hard to access good
health
Use synonyms
 assistance.
As a result
Linking Words
, some individuals looked for alternative medicine which is a lot cheaper;
however
Linking Words
, it does not have proven therapeutic claims, unlikely sometimes; caused worsening of their
health
Use synonyms
 condition. Another reason is that, some remote areas still do not have decent hospitals. To illustrate, some of
opur
of or belonging to us
our
 fellow citizens risked the life of their loved ones or family
traveling
the act of going from one place to another
travelling
long distance
Suggestion
long distances
a long distance
 in nearby cities to look for better treatment. Be that as it may, I believe that the national budget should be distributed evenly among other industries that are equally important.
First
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 of all, education should be one of the primary concerns.
For instance
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, by giving awareness and knowledge to people, most of these diseases can be prevented.
Secondly
Linking Words
, employment should not be overlooked. If people have a source of income they can afford quality medical assistance.
Finally
Linking Words
, safety should not be left out of the context. Because of the proliferation of crimes these days, the security should be doubled and the officials should intensify their move to fight these law offenders. All of these will be needing budget to be done effectively. In general,
although
Linking Words
 I do not refute the idea of allocating tax money on the
health
Use synonyms
 care, I still believe that other sectors; education, employment, safety and security need an equal budget.
Submitted by jeptachz on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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