Some people think that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers.rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #purpose #schools #children #citizens #workers #benefit #individuals

In the concurrent world,

education

is the most important part of life.

several

Suggestion

Several

people believe that schooling is the best way to train children to become a good

mamber

one of the persons who compose a social group (especially individuals who have joined and participate in a group organization)

member

members

of society as well skill employee.

Therefore

, more

marits

the world of commercial activity where goods and services are bought and sold

markets

are their own life.

However

Accept space

I agree with

this

statement. I would

discussed

Suggestion

discuss

ensuing paragraph

Suggestion

the ensuing paragraphs

ensuing paragraphs

. Focusing on the primary view, several people

are think

Suggestion

have thought

think

are thought

that

main benefits

Suggestion

the main benefits

are Schools is

best part

Suggestion

the best part

of children.

because

Suggestion

Because

of, they learn

education

subject as

well some

Accept comma addition

well, some

vocational skill, discipline

Accept space

moral values about life lessons.

Besides

this

Accept space

if children

is understand

Suggestion

understand

are understanding

values

Suggestion

the values

education

Accept space

then

they set the goal about their dream and

also

become a good member of society. To

examplify

be characteristic of

exemplify

, Shivam

has learn

Suggestion

has learned

in school and they learn a good

skills

Suggestion

skill

Therefore

Accept space

their skills are make a well known

aritists

Suggestion

artist

artists

in the nation. They achieve a good artist of the

nation

Suggestion

nationally

award.

On the other hand

, some primitive steps are individual on

Suggestion

interested skills and

also

learn their subject related knowledge.

Therefore

, children set their goal and preparing

Suggestion

for

their interested field.In additional

Accept space

either children can achieve of good score with graduate their field or more opportunity for

good job

Suggestion

a good job

good jobs

in a multinational company.

Moreover

, there are more merits for their performance in

job

Suggestion

the job

a job

. If they work as a good employee and their ability with

skills

Accept comma addition

skills, then

then

more chance to achieve higher salary package as well as more facility provided by their companies.

for

Suggestion

For

instance

kunjan

is a

best

Suggestion

good

better

skill for

maintenance mechanical

Accept comma addition

maintenance, mechanical

petrochemical valve.

they

Suggestion

They

solve every problem related to

this

field because of their well known person about

this

product.

to a very great extent or degree

, many

company

Suggestion

companies

provide many

facility

Suggestion

facilities

as well highest salary package.

Suggestion

is individual merits for

kunjan

. To conclude, it can

finally

said

Suggestion

say

that

school

Suggestion

the school

best part

Suggestion

the best part

for

Suggestion

about

learn

Suggestion

learning

descriptive skills and

good

Suggestion

a good education

education

to interest filled with make

good person

Suggestion

a good person

good people

in society as well achieved best job.

Therefore

Accept space

some personally benefits because of their skills helps to become a well known person as well lives their own dream lifestyle.

Submitted by parth.pp34 on Fri Jun 21 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

327 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

social responsibility
foundational knowledge
career success
economic contribution
personal development
critical thinking
creativity
emotional intelligence
balanced education
community well-being
holistic education
academic and personal growth

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A considerable amount of people think that some people are born with God gifted talents while, on the other hand, some people claims that any children can become a musician or sports person by teaching. According to me, if children are teached in the right way they surely become better than the people born with talents.
7
band
Everyone should consider becoming a vegetarian as consuming meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The debate over whether individuals should adopt a vegetarian diet due to the health risks associated with meat consumption is increasingly relevant in today's health-conscious society. While there are valid arguments supporting vegetarianism, it is essential to recognize that consuming meat can be part of a balanced diet that offers substantial health benefits.
7
band
Some people believe that school children should be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.
The importance of assigning homework to children by teachers which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial while others reject this notion. In my opinion, the latter proposition appears to be more rational. This essay will further discuss both views and thus will lead to a logical conclusion.
5
band
In some schools and universities, girl tend to choose art subjects(e.g literature) and boys tend to choose science subjects(e.g physics).Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed? Do you agree or disagree?
There are some institutions where females tend to choose more literature related subjects and male students prefer to study science subjects. In this essay, I will explain the reasons of this trend and why this should be changed.
5.5
band
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
In some communities, people argue that children should be taught that having hard work will make their dreams come true. This statement has a negative and positive impact that I will explain in this essay.

Some people think that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers.rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Everyone should consider becoming a vegetarian as consuming meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that school children should be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

In some schools and universities, girl tend to choose art subjects(e.g literature) and boys tend to choose science subjects(e.g physics).Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed? Do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?