IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Governments should spend more on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you disagree or agree with this statement.

#governments #railways #roads
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It is no doubt that the aim of governments is to improve the infrastructure of a nation
such
Linking Words
 as transportation systems. We should focus more on the importance of railways for its greater benefits in terms of
environment
Suggestion
the environment
 and safety as compared to the negative impacts of
Use synonyms
road system
Suggestion
the road system
. One of the major concerns of the 21st century is global warming due to the alarming increase of carbon monoxide emissions from fossil fuel driven vehicles.
On the contrary
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, trains are powered by electricity and
hence
Linking Words
 they are
more environmental
Suggestion
more environmentally
 friendly as they do not release harmful air into the atmosphere.By building more railway network coverage, we can improve the connectivity between rural and urban areas and
thus
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 we could improve the township development for small towns.
As a result
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, the population distribution will be evenly allocated among the small towns as the enhancement of accessibility for
traveling
the act of going from one place to another
travelling
. With the greater railway network, people can choose where they want to live rather than where they work. Traffic congestion is a nightmare to the motorists among the metropolis and major cities.
In addition
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, the increasing casualties of
road
Use synonyms
 accidents that kills thousands of lives due to adverse
road
Use synonyms
 conditions from weather and the negligence of drivers.
However
Linking Words
, riding on trains is traffic free, accident free and time saving. Railways are the remedy for today’s world as it reduces environmental damage, minimizes the traffic clogging and provides the mobility among the cities and towns.
Thus
Linking Words
, government should spend more fiscally on railway
instead
Linking Words
 of
Use synonyms
road
Suggestion
the road
.
Submitted by herosofolympus2013 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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