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Band 6.5

These days many families move abroad for work. Some people believe that this benefits the children in these families. Others believe that it makes their lives more difficult. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#families #move #work #people #children #lives
In recent years, it has been observed that more and more families are migrating to other countries for jobs and a better life.
However
, some people think that
this
 shifting can make
lives
Suggestion
the lives
 of children troublesome while others deny saying it is more beneficial. In my opinion, the benefits are more
compared
Suggestion
comparable
 to the problems.
To begin
 with, families relocating to another country for jobs do have some detrimental effect on the lives of their children.
Firstly
, children have to leave their friends and relatives with whom they are
attached deeply
Accept comma addition
attached, deeply
, and so they feel isolated sometimes when they miss their friends back in their own country.
Secondly
, these offspring are new to the environment where that
have
Suggestion
has
 to start fresh.
Also
, they need to cope up with studies of the new school. A child,
for instance
, has to learn and understand new subjects, and there will be pressure on him to learn them quickly.
However
,
this
 negative impact will
last
 only in the initial period. Children do get adjusted
to
Suggestion
for
 situations easily. If children find issues in adjusting for some time, they can get support from their parents.
This
changes
Suggestion
change
 is indeed advantageous for the offsprings to develop and grow in
better environment
Suggestion
better environments
a better environment
. Learning different languages and cultures will help them to bond with the locals easily. It does enhance their intellectual abilities by getting more knowledge of other cultures.
For example
, a survey conducted by Bombay Times showed that children moving to other countries are 60% more intellectual than those staying in the same country. In conclusion,
although
 there are issues at the start of shifting like feeling lonely and getting along with peers and studies, the benefits like getting a better life for the future is considered to be fruitful.
Submitted by psurasak on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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