In many places, shopping is the leisure time activity for young adults. Why is it so? Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?

#places #leisure #time #activity #adults #development

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Time

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is changing and so are the favourite pastimes of youngsters. Nowadays, many adults can be seen spending

time

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doing shopping. The ever changing fashion trends and the desire to show off in front of friends are the main causes of

this

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change. In my opinion,

this

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is a negative development because of the wastage of

money

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time

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and

energy

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. Every day a new fashion trend or a new gadget is introduced in the market. The young adults want to update their wardrobe according to the latest market trends.

For example

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, whenever a new movie is launched,

girls

Suggestion

the girls

try to imitate the style of the actress by buying clothes similar to what she wore in the movie.

Moreover

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, many times adults want to show-off their status in front of their friends. They want to splurge

money

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in order to do

this

Linking Words

That is

Linking Words

why we see many youngsters with large friend circles hopping from shop to shop and spending

money

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This

Linking Words

is a negative development because of the wastage of

money

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. The youngsters spend their hard-earned

money

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on unimportant things. They buy all the stuff which

are

Suggestion

useless and collect all the junk in their closets.

Furthermore

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, it is a wastage of precious

time

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and

energy

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. The

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time which

Accept comma addition

time, which

could be spent in a more productive way is spent on buying things which are not needed.

Instead

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, they can join gymnastics or aerobics to have a healthy mind and body.

Linking Words

Thus it

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Thus, it

is evident that mindless shopping / excessive shopping is a waste of

money

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time

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and

energy

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. To conclude, more and more youngsters now spend their

time

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shopping because they want to follow the latest fashion trends and to impress their friends.

However

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, it is a negative development as it is a complete waste of

time

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energy

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and

more importantly

Suggestion

most importantly

money

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Submitted by edelaidapodasca on Mon Jun 24 2019

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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In many places, shopping is the leisure time activity for young adults. Why is it so? Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occured? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

All large companies should provide sports and social facilities to the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that it is better to work for a large company than a small one. Do you agree or disagree

In many countries today, crime novel and TV crime dramas are becoming more popular. Why do you think are these books and TV shows are popular? What is your opinion of crime fiction and TV crime dramas?