In many places, shopping is the leisure time activity for young adults. Why is it so? Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?

#places #leisure #time #activity #adults #development

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Time

is changing and so are the favourite pastimes of youngsters. Nowadays, many adults can be seen spending

time

doing shopping. The ever changing fashion trends and the desire to show off in front of friends are the main causes of

this

change. In my opinion,

this

is a negative development because of the wastage of

money

time

and

energy

. Every day a new fashion trend or a new gadget is introduced in the market. The young adults want to update their wardrobe according to the latest market trends.

For example

, whenever a new movie is launched,

girls

Suggestion

the girls

try to imitate the style of the actress by buying clothes similar to what she wore in the movie.

Moreover

, many times adults want to show-off their status in front of their friends. They want to splurge

money

in order to do

this

That is

why we see many youngsters with large friend circles hopping from shop to shop and spending

money

This

is a negative development because of the wastage of

money

. The youngsters spend their hard-earned

money

on unimportant things. They buy all the stuff which

are

Suggestion

useless and collect all the junk in their closets.

Furthermore

, it is a wastage of precious

time

and

energy

. The

time which

Accept comma addition

time, which

could be spent in a more productive way is spent on buying things which are not needed.

Instead

, they can join gymnastics or aerobics to have a healthy mind and body.

Thus it

Accept comma addition

Thus, it

is evident that mindless shopping / excessive shopping is a waste of

money

time

and

energy

. To conclude, more and more youngsters now spend their

time

shopping because they want to follow the latest fashion trends and to impress their friends.

However

, it is a negative development as it is a complete waste of

time

energy

and

more importantly

Suggestion

most importantly

money

Submitted by edelaidapodasca on Mon Jun 24 2019

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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In many places, shopping is the leisure time activity for young adults. Why is it so? Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The rate of unemployment in some countries is high. Because of this, there is no need to complete an education beyond a primary school level. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that team sports prepare children for their future careers while others do not agree.

These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?