In many places, shopping is the leisure time activity for young adults. Why is it so? Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?

#places #leisure #time #activity #adults #development

Time

is changing and so are the favourite pastimes of youngsters. Nowadays, many adults can be seen spending

time

doing shopping. The ever changing fashion trends and the desire to show off in front of friends are the main causes of

this

change. In my opinion,

this

is a negative development because of the wastage of

money

time

and

energy

. Every day a new fashion trend or a new gadget is introduced in the market. The young adults want to update their wardrobe according to the latest market trends.

For example

, whenever a new movie is launched,

girls

Suggestion

the girls

try to imitate the style of the actress by buying clothes similar to what she wore in the movie.

Moreover

, many times adults want to show-off their status in front of their friends. They want to splurge

money

in order to do

this

That is

why we see many youngsters with large friend circles hopping from shop to shop and spending

money

This

is a negative development because of the wastage of

money

. The youngsters spend their hard-earned

money

on unimportant things. They buy all the stuff which

are

Suggestion

useless and collect all the junk in their closets.

Furthermore

, it is a wastage of precious

time

and

energy

. The

time which

Accept comma addition

time, which

could be spent in a more productive way is spent on buying things which are not needed.

Instead

, they can join gymnastics or aerobics to have a healthy mind and body.

Thus it

Accept comma addition

Thus, it

is evident that mindless shopping / excessive shopping is a waste of

money

time

and

energy

. To conclude, more and more youngsters now spend their

time

shopping because they want to follow the latest fashion trends and to impress their friends.

However

, it is a negative development as it is a complete waste of

time

energy

and

more importantly

Suggestion

most importantly

money

Submitted by edelaidapodasca on Mon Jun 24 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
These days, one of the major problems facing the modern world is the issue of crime. Some individuals hold the view that a constant sentence should be assigned to each felony, while others think that the situation and stimulants that cause guilt should be considered. In this essay, I will look at both sides, and give my opinion.
4.5
band
In the last century the first man to walk on the moon said it was a great step for mankind. But in fact space travel has made little difference to most people lives today. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
In the last century, as a result of developing technologies, some can travel to space for discovery tendency. Based on what has been the first man that stepped on the moon's surface said, this is merit for mankind. However, due to the fact that can be seen space travel has changed most individual's life. I partially agree with this statement.
5
band
Nowadays, people are living an increasingly longer life and in many countries there are more old people than young people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?
The rapid growing of technology and knowledge, are one of many reasons that allow people to have a longer life, because people can get the right treatment and get the information of health more easily. As the reasult, in many countries, the number of old people are more than the number of young people. Having more old people than yaoung people in certain country can have their own advantages and disadvantages, which will be discussed further as follows.
4.5
band
Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?
It is argued that in this time with the rapid development of technology, scientists are more influential and valuable than people working on arts and music. I partially agree with this opinion and believe that artists and musicians are still attached to importance by modern civilization.
5.5
band
Some feel that cities should be designed to be beautiful while others feel their functionality is more important. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion
What is the most crucial quality for a city ? Some propose that convenience and functionality should be the prime concern, while others contend that the beauty, in terms of architecture and natural environment, should be a pre-requisite. I am of the view that aesthetically pleasing cities are more attractive to its citizens as well as tourists alike.

In many places, shopping is the leisure time activity for young adults. Why is it so? Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the last century the first man to walk on the moon said it was a great step for mankind. But in fact space travel has made little difference to most people lives today. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Nowadays, people are living an increasingly longer life and in many countries there are more old people than young people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

Some feel that cities should be designed to be beautiful while others feel their functionality is more important. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion