The growth in crime among teenagers can be attributed to an increase in the use of violent video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#growth #crime #teenagers #video #games

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What is the most effective factor regarding boost young

crime

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commitment

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rate

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? While some people believe that crucial visual computer games have highlighted role in

increasing

Suggestion

the increasing crime rate

increasing crime rate

crime

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’s

rate

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among youngsters, I believe that there are more important factors

such

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as family’s problem and financial issue which motivate teenagers to commit any

crime

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. In

this

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essay, I will explain in more details. On the one hand, family has a significant role to prevent

crime

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commitment

Suggestion

commission

by young generation with applying a proper growing up discipline.

However

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, families can play a negative role which expedites

this

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trend significantly.

For example

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, divorce has been known as one of the most vital factors which can

influences

Suggestion

influence

teenagers’

behaviors

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviours

behaviour

crime

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commitment

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is one of the consequences of

this

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disaster.

As a result

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, a child who has faced with terrible challenges in his life has more potential to be attracted by criminal groups.

In addition

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, financial problem is another undeniable factor which should be taken into account.

On the other hand

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, based on the famous expression which says that “Money talks”, financial issue is considered in the

second

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place to investigate root cause of high youngsters’

crime

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commitment

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rate

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. Because in all

societies

Suggestion

society

money constructs the infrastructures of human’s life and in case it’s absence, human will face with a bunch of problems. So, teenagers are not excepted from

this

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fact.

Therefore

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, they will be motivated to do some

crime

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such

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as robbery or shoplifting to provide their needs. In conclusion, I strongly disagree with the opinion which has mentioned that crucial video games can effect

increasing

Suggestion

the increasing crime commitment rate

crime

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commitment

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rate

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among teenagers. Because

this

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essay illustrated two vital factors like financial problems and family which they significantly influence

this

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trend.

Submitted by mojtaba.1986.nasiri on Tue Jun 25 2019

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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The growth in crime among teenagers can be attributed to an increase in the use of violent video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Some say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion.

Some people think that in the modern society, individuals are becoming more dependent on each other, while others say that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the last decade, there has been a great increase in global air travel. What do you think are the reasons for this and do you think it is a good thing?