IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Nowadays people can buy a large variety of household goods, more than ever before in most countries in the world. Is this a good or bad development? Give your opinions and examples.

#people #variety #household #goods #countries #world #development
It is inevitable that consumerism has increased due to the availability of different types of brands and textures of products in household goods.
on
Suggestion
On
 the whole, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. There are many advantages to a variety of household goods.
to
Suggestion
To
 begin with,
more options
Suggestion
the more options
 will offer more choices to the customers and will increase the competition among manufacturers.
For example
, in India, red
chili
ground beef and chili peppers or chili powder often with tomatoes and kidney beans
chilli
chile
 powder is available in various varieties depending upon the
flavor
the general atmosphere of a place or situation and the effect that it has on people
flavour
.
this
Suggestion
This
 not only benefits the consumers in choosing the right
flavor
the general atmosphere of a place or situation and the effect that it has on people
flavour
 for
them but
Accept comma addition
them, but
also
 helps in the storage.
Furthermore
, due to increased competition level among the companies, they focus on bringing the best quality and easy to use
packaging
Suggestion
package
, resulting in more consumption.
This
also
 gives a boost to the manufacturing market, creating better employment opportunities. On the downside, it promotes the wastage of raw material. Every company tries to produce maximum products from the raw material. When the leftover or expired products are dumped in the ocean or buried underground it creates environmental issues.
For example
, an uncountable number of
polybags
Suggestion
poly bags
 are thrown away every year which causes the death of innocent animals and the release of toxic chemicals in the soil.
thus
Suggestion
Thus
, harming the environment. To put in a nutshell, I pen
down saying
Accept comma addition
down, saying
 that,
variety
Suggestion
the variety
a variety
in
Suggestion
of
 household supplies
increases
Suggestion
increase
 the number of choices for customers and opens the door of employment.
Submitted by sheelumalik on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: