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Writing Samples
Band 4

Figures show that some countries have an ever-increasing proportion of the population who are aged 15 or younger. What do you think are the current and future effects of this trend for those countries?

#figures #show #countries #proportion #population #future #effects #trend
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Some demographic surveys have shown that the proportions of young people are rising rapidly.
This
 may be because of
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
reasons
such
 as illiteracy and poverty or wars or any other reasons.
This
 essay shall delve into the immediate and
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 effects of
this
 trend on those
countries
. The most important current impact of
such
 a trend would be on the national economy. For instance, goods and services would need to be imported which would lead to an unstable economy.
However
, the future effect would be different as there would be more people within the country needing employment.
Then
 there might arise the problem of unemployment.
In addition
 to the effects on
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
, there would be social implications
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
. The government will have to invest a lot
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 educational institutes as more children need more schools and colleges.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 more spending on
health
 would
also
 be needed. The
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 result would be that the education and
health
 infrastructure would be well developed. If careful management of
such
 a situation is done by the government,
for instance
, by providing good education and
health
 facilities,
then
 the future outcomes could be quite positive. The society would be younger and more vibrant. The culture of those
countries
 would be more fast-paced than the traditional culture. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that the culture and lifestyle of these
countries
 would be transformed if the population
would be
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 younger. Fresh opportunities and challenges would both be on the way. The trend would cause multiple possible effects and these
countries
 should strengthen the education and
health
 infrastructure to overcome its negative influence.
Submitted by rggdwwjduwhnwwd on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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