There are many different types of music on the world today.Why do we need music?Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Music

is a form of expression.It could be a means of connecting people from all over the world

expresses position, direction or location, or point in time

out

it could be the identity of a specific locality.

Music

for many is a means of relaxation.To cut off from the world and focusing on a specific tune and lyrics that you might relate to. To say that traditional

music

is more important than international

music

would not be wrong.But it would only be true for a certain locality who can relate to that traditional

music

who can feel the essence and emotions attached to it.

However

Accept space

this

very traditional

music

itself converts to international

music

if people all over the world can sync with it. With everything

globallizinv

make world-wide in scope or application

globalizing

and with the rising trend of bands and pop culture

following,it is

Suggestion

, it is following

the international

music

that fits you in the trend and is in the lead.The traditional

music

is left for sentimental and cultural values mostly.

Submitted by fatimarashid9716 on Sun Jun 30 2019

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

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Sentence 2 - Example
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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

152 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There are many different types of music on the world today.Why do we need music?Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Fully explain your ideas

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping malls or centres to do their shopping. Does this have a positive or a negative development?

Some people are leaving the countryside to live in the cities and the town, leaving only the old people in the countryside. What problem are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this problem?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it doesn’t solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other type of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadventages?