The growing number of overweight people is pulling a strain on the health care system, in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In order to tackle the challenges associated with obese people, the introduction of more physical education into the schedules of school is seen as the most appropriate way.
This
essay agrees with
this
movement. The introduction of intensive
exercise
will help reduce the incidence of
obesity
and improve the
quality
of
life
of citizens.
Firstly
, there will be a reduction in the occurrence of
this
condition.
In other words
, when active physical
exercise
is introduced into the curriculum of students, they will be conscious of their fitness and physique and will prevent
themselves
objective case of they
them
from falling out of shape. If physical
exercise
is practised 3days in a week in schools, students will be encouraged to continue at home, even their sedentary lifestyles and faulty eating habits will not result in
obesity
.
For example
, the survey done in Italy, revealed that the percentage of overweight individuals
has reduced
Suggestion
have reduced
from 65% to 36%, when active physical
exercise
was introduced into their educational system.
Secondly
, the
quality
of
life
of citizens will improve.
Obesity
has been found to be a threat to human
existence but
Accept comma addition
existence, but
, when
this
is combated with physical education in schools, the people will be able to live in good and healthy conditions.
Furthermore
, the other diseases associated with
obesity
Accept comma addition
obesity, such
such
as hypertension and diabetes will be curbed
drastically
Accept comma addition
drastically, therefore
therefore
, when people do not spend their fortune on health care, their
quality
of
life
will improve progressively.
For instance
, the dailies have it that, the practice of including physical
exercise
into the students' curriculum in China, improved their
quality
of
life
by 30% In conclusion, including active physical education into the schedules of schools will help reduce the incidence of
obesity
values and
in addition
improve the
quality
of
life
of citizens.
Submitted by Serhio Baraniuk on

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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